Into the Storm – 3 out of 5
Natural disaster films are pretty damn silly. It’s hard to not laugh at the ridiculousness of films like 2012 or anything really made by Roland Emmerich. However, with all the implausible weather and “natural” occurrences (even with Climate Change, The Day After Tomorrow is still pretty ridiculous with its science…and don’t get me started on The Core), the films are kinda fun and I would push over an entire horde of old ladies to play someone in those films—preferably someone who dies a ridiculous death.
|Richard Armitage is giving the "what do you think, audience?" look.|
|Imagine all the porn you could watch with those screens...|
|Optimus! Hurry, get out of the way!|
|No, Optimus! NOOOOO!!!!|
|That one plane looks like he's having fun.|
|Here we go again...another movie reinforcing the stereotype that tornadoes|
|"One piece of data I've collected is that the pressure|
created from tornadoes causes spontaneous bowel
|This. This is what you are looking for.|
|Awww. That one plane is photobombing the other.|
|His ridiculous hair will protect him from the imminent flying debris.|
When I sit down to watch a film like Into the Storm, I’m not expecting Citizen Kane or some masterpiece dealing with character-based drama. I’m expecting disaster porn. I’m expecting buildings getting torn apart, trees uprooted and tossed like the gods are on a bender, explosion after explosion with all their bright fireball-y glory and people running for their goddamn lives! If the film is done right in these departments, I don’t give a shit if the characters are cardboard cutouts and one-dimensional. However, it’s still possible for these characters to ruin a film. The characters of Donk and Reevis are these characters…their names pretty much tell you all you need to know about them.
|And that's pretty much how you would picture them, too.|
Donk (Kyle Davis) and Reevis (Jon Reep) are two characters that are shoehorned into the film and do nothing but try to be comic relief…but, in reality, are bumps in the gratuitous action and are reminding us that life is fleeting and happiness will eventually end. Donk and Reevis are two rednecks that desperately want to be internet famous and they use stupid stunts to try and up their YouTube hit count (because aside from cats and needless aggression towards completely insignificant things, residents of the internet love seeing people getting hurt in many different ways). These two men, who almost definitely have a “Git-r-Done” shirts and testicles hanging from their trucks, see the tornado as an opportunity to get really crazy and they decide to film Donk standing in front of it.
|If anyone sees that and says, "I wanna get filmed standing in front of that," |
I say go ahead. You won't be missed.
There is only one sequence where these two have an impact on the plot but, for the rest of the time, they are just randomly inserted into the running length and fail miserably at being amusing. In fact, they are just uncomfortable and annoying. The film would have probably scored an entire point higher if these two were not included. You hear that, production? A movie review blog run by a nobody will give you a better review if you got rid of Donk and Reevis. I await your Director’s Cut that fulfills my wishes…
|That's a terrible rap album cover.|
Into the Storm is a poor man’s Twister that lacks the interesting and lovable characters but still has the implausible weather patterns and even goes a step further by having some truly remarkable special effects. The chances of me giving this one a repeat viewing are slim but, aside from Donk and Reevis, the film is pretty entertaining and a decent flick to veg out to if you’re looking for something that is far, far away from being complicated.
|"Well, we survived and I'm still stuck with kids who look like they are trying to make|
a junior version of Donald Trump's hair. Thanks, tornado."