Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Killing Season

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! Make your steaks something to die for with some killing seasoning.

Killing Season – 2 out of 5

Killing season…that’s what I call I the time of the year where I go and pick the bounty that my garden has grown.

Killing Season (the movie, not the act of harvesting my garden) is about two veterans of the Bosnian War. One of them, an American named Benjamin Ford (Robert De Niro), has settled for a quiet life in the woods to escape the horrors of war but ends up meeting a Serbian named Emil Kovac (John Travolta) who also served in the war but, at the time of their meeting, is traveling under the guise of a tourist. After striking up an unlikely friendship, the two end up on a hunting trip but Ford soon realizes that Kovac has a vendetta against him and the hunt becomes a game of war.

"You looking at me, Killing Season?"

I liked the concept and the story of this film but it had one major issue in it that made the movie an accidental comedy for me. Like I said, I dug the story because revenge stories always interest me (I think this is because I have my own revenge fantasy against the frozen yogurt stand guy who shorted me that dime several years ago…I will have my dime and I will have my vengeance, FroYo man!). The film has all the makings for an adventurous and action filled story about one man seeking retribution while another fights for survival. It had the potential to be brutal, violent and, more importantly, entertaining. For the most part, it was. The story is good and the action is great but the film had one major issue that hurt nearly the entire running length. That issue is John Travolta.

Even Thor disapproved of Travolta in this one.

I’m not a fan of Travolta. I’m not sure if it’s because it stems from the fact he believes that an alien Overlord named Xenu killed aliens on this planet millions of years ago and their volcano-demised spirits now inhabit our bodies and cause problems or if it’s because while I worked as a masseuse to pay the bills he tried to get me to jerk him off (and then didn’t pay me when I did…come one, dude! Services rendered, cheap skate!) or if it’s because I don’t find him to be a very convincing actor (dancing in nearly all your roles doesn’t disguise the fact your are really bad at having some semblance of emotion and range) but I’m just not a fan of the guy.

Or a fan of the shoe polish he used to create his hair in this one.

Travolta hits new levels of awful that haven’t been seen since Battlefield Earth in this movie as he is not only sporting an awful chinstrap beard but is uttering out an accent that instantly makes any line he is spitting out a work of unbridled comedy. Many a cartoon characters have been represented with more dignity and respect to foreign nations with their vocal iterations but Travolta sounds like he’s doing a bad Yakov Smirnoff impression. You had to wonder if any point the director thought he sounded ridiculous but feared having the might of Scientology brought down upon him if he spoke up.

The weapon doesn't make up for the chinstrap, dude.

Actually, it just turns out you look ridiculous with any kind of beard.

It’s not often that an entire film, one that has a decent performance from Robert De Niro, has some decent action and a decent story (really, everything about this movie is just average and decent), is completely ruined by a really bad accent and stupid looking near-neckbeard but Killing Season proves that such a thing is possible. It’s hard to take the things this movie is doing right and appreciate them because every time Travolta opens his mouth, you can’t help but laugh at how stupid he sounds.  His inability to make his character convincing doesn't help the issue either.

Here we see the movie showing exactly how it feels to watch and listen to John

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