Texas Chainsaw – 1 out of 5
I’ve never been a big fan of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre—the original, I mean. I hold far less esteem for the remake and that prequel that looks more like a remake than a prequel. However, I don’t outright hate the film; I actually appreciate its existence but, for the most part, I think it’s a shitty film. The acting is awful, the story does little to keep my attention and the infamous dinner scene is so loud and annoying I throw lamps across the room and flip tables whenever I watch it—so I should probably stop watching it because the stock of flippin’ tables and tossin’ lamps is running low in my Table Flippin’/Lamp Tossin’ room. However, Tobe Hooper broke new ground in the world of horror and made a macabre slasher film the likes of which has never been seen. So, from a history of cinema perspective, I love the film but from a story and entertainment perspective, it’s pure shit.
|Is that a Rob Schneider clone?|
|A black sheriff in the 70s?!? I'm pretty Texas won't even allow|
that to happen now.
|"Does the woman's ass dominate the shot? Good, film it for three hours. It's |
essential to the plot." - The Director
|This is Heather's boyfriend, played by a guy named Trey Songz--apparently,|
he's a musician. That kinda explains the moronic last name.
|She's trying to find the rest of her shirt.|
|Paul Rae was in Daddy Day Camp. I'm trying to say this isn't the scariest|
film he's been in.
With all the bad going for this film, I did find it cool that the original actors from the 1974 cult classic make cameos in the film. The original Leatherface; Gunner Hansen, makes an appearance at the beginning of the film as Boss Sawyer, the one that got away; Sally (Marilyn Burns), returns to the franchise to play the grandmother to Heather, Verna, and John Dugan, the man in all the make-up as Grandpa in the infamous dinner sequence reprises his role—and I’m guessing this time he didn’t need the make-up. Then there’s also the little nods and winks with the fact the Sheriff’s last name is Hooper. But, like I said, these cool tidbits have little to do with the actual enjoyment of the film and are just interesting in and of itself.
|Ladies and gentlemen, the original Leatherface.|
|He either just witnessed Leatherface murder someone or|
just filled his pants...or both.
|"Time to get off da chain...saw." (His puns were notoriously bad, that's why|
Leatherface didn't say much beyond incomprehensible shrieking.
|I guess adding the element of it raining is something new.|
|Was unbuttoning the hitchhiker's shirt that much really neccessary?|
|"Put that chainsaw in 3D and no one will notice we|
didn't try on the scipt." - The Director.
|You can almost hear his thighs slapping together.|