Monday, September 5, 2011

Young Einstein

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Young Einstein - 1 out of 5

For a brief period in the late 80's America became obsessed with Australia. Some Men at Work invited us to the "Land Down Under" and asked us "Who Can It Be Now?" Foster showed us that the little island full of marsupials can rival Milwaukee in a drinking contest and Paul Hogan showed us the true definition of a knife. I'm sure the Australians believed that this love affair would last forever but like taking your first bite of Vegemite, the States couldn't swallow Australia's exports. But before the dynasty ended, the Aussies sent us what they believed would be the "next big thing." It came in the form of Yahoo Serious but like trying to suggest a strip poker game at the local church's spring picnic, it just wasn't going to happen and Serious never became the huge celebrity that was promised.

This is Yahoo's "I-don't-understand-why-Americans-didn't-worship-me" face.

Before Yahoo disappeared into obscurity like many celebrities from the 80's, he was able to successfully bring the good ole U. S. of A. a little movie called Young Einstein. The film is a fictionalized story of Albert Einstein but instead of being a German-born scientist that was not only brilliant but would later have a picture of him with his tongue out that would become an iconic poster plastered on the walls of chemistry majors in colleges, Yahoo made the man an Australian on the island of Tasmania. This reboot to Einstein's life started with his theory of relativity and since Einstein in an Aussie in this one, he discovered this theory while trying to figure out a way to put bubbles in beer. Fosters would say that is the definition of science in Australia.

When this film came out, I remember seeing commercials for it and seeing the promotion paddy wagon come roaring out of the gate for Serious but as fast as it came, it disappeared and I forgot all about the man. Recently, I was reminded of him (although I can't recollect why or how I was reminded) and I decided that since I've never seen any of Serious' films, I thought I would watch them all (he only made 3 of them) and Young Einstein was the first. Right off the bat, the movie struck me that Australians seem to be as backwards as those from Alabama only the Aussies don't see leprechauns in their trees and since their island contains the platypus, I don't think they'll try and execute you for believing in evolution.

That's how the man on the left looked after sitting through a screening of Young Einstein.

Another thing struck me about this movie and that is the fact it wasn't funny. Not in the least. The movie is basically one long musical montage that offers up breaks in-between songs in order to move the story along with some dialogue. Also, it seems that the Foster-swilling croc hunters find filming movies at slightly faster speed (but not quite Benny Hill speed) equals funny. And that basically sums up the entire film. Characters moving slightly faster than normal and music montages. If it wasn't for the emphasis of alcohol in the story, I would suggest this movie would be funny to children but I can't imagine any kids that would laugh at this. In the end, this movie just serves as a history lesson on the short lived love affair the United States and Australia had.

Well, at least Yahoo enjoyed his movie...maybe a little too much, though.

Finally, I would like to apologize to all Australians. You are not all drunks who want to kill crocodiles with giant knives. I made a generalization for joke purposes and in no way actually believe the stereotypes. Folks in Alabama however, I won't apologize for what I insinuated about you. You guys are backwards as hell.

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