Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Endangered Species

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Endangered Species - 1 out of 5

Do you remember when I reviewed the movie Pinocchio's Revenge? You don't? Well, here's a link to it...

Anyway, when I watched that film, I pointed out that one of the things the good ole World Wide Web
talked about was the film's shower sequence. Despite the rest of the film lacking nudity, this scene offered up a "nothing will be hidden" sequence that really felt out of place in the film. However, after reading up on the writer/director, I discovered that he loves putting naked boobies in his film and then phones in the rest of the project. So, while checking out his IMDb page, I discovered he did a film in 2003 called Endangered Species that starred the Mummy from The Mummy and Gimli from The Lord of the Rings. But what really struck me was the fact that Eric Roberts was in it and if you know bad movies, you know that if Mr. Roberts is in it, it's going to be an awesome bad movie that will be a guarantee for entertainment. Sadly, that wasn't the case with Endangered Species.

"Why indeed I'm a more entertaining actor than my sister."

The movie is about two aliens who are on Earth: One is here to kill our species and the other is here to protect us. The movie opens with the bad alien slaughtering a workout facility full of toned bodies (and yes, there is even a shower scene during this sequence, in case you were wondering). The resulting slaughter causes the police to get involved and Eric Roberts takes it upon himself to figure out what the aliens are doing and why humanity has to be in the middle of this ruckus.

I so badly wanted this film to be one of those awesomely bad movies but it just didn't happen. First off, the DVD showcases this alien on its cover but at no point do you actually see this creature. Finally, this film just doesn't deliver the bad acting and weak story that most crummy sci-fi films bring. Don't get me wrong, the acting and story are terrible but they are just regular terrible--not fun terrible like in Sharktopus (also starring Eric Roberts) or Mega Piranha. Instead, the film is dry, boring and saltine cracker-like in its bland tasteless delivery. All the actors come off like their doing it for check and there's none of the over-acting types who think this will be their big break like you get to see in other B-films. Add that with absolutely pointless nudity and you have yourself a film that you feel too sorry for to make fun of.

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