Monday, May 9, 2011


***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Monsters - 1 out of 5

This trailer is quite possibly the most misleading trailer I've ever seen in my life. Not only does the trailer sell us that this film has the potential to have some action, it also looks like it could be scary and maybe even be something as creative and as powerful as the immensely awesome District 9. However, after sitting down and watching it, I found one of the most boring movies I ever had the torture of sitting through.

I want nothing more than to sit and give an absolute scathing review of this piece of crap but I'm trying to hold back. I just keep telling myself that this film was loaded with potential that it just failed to achieve. And that fact, is the only redeeming quality the movie has. The fact that it COULD HAVE been great, is the only good thing about it. Everything else, on the other hand, just didn't work.

The film's story and plot is weak. The idea of an space probe infected with alien life crash landing in Mexico and the area becomes a infected wasteland where some people still try to live their lives is kinda cool but instead, the movie focuses on two lifeless characters trying to get back to the United States. Even worse, one of the characters is a complete douche bag and ends up putting the story into motion because he was stupid. Way to go filmmakers, make me get behind your characters by making one lifeless and the other an idiot. Then, as the story drags on and on and on and...well, you get the idea, the film's boredom is interrupted by the promise of something going to happen but then--guess what?--nothing happens. Then, after the empty promise of nothing happening, the film goes back to dragging.

But now let me get to something that really bothered me about this film: the Title. It's called Monsters but you don't get to see many creatures. The plural title leaves the promise of numerous creatures but like everything else in the trailer, it doesn't even deliver on this. At the beginning you get to see one of these monsters but then you have to spend the next hour watching the quiet one and the douche bag talk and walk until you see a glimpse of another. THEN you get to see more talking and walking for another twenty minutes until you see another one and at these points, the filmmakers fail completely at creating tension and horror during these scenes. Even more insulting is the lazy creature design. Slapping lobster legs on an octopus isn't creative.

The trailer made the film look interesting but the execution was just lame. With a title like Monsters, I didn't want to see two idiots mumble back and forth as they wander aimlessly with no real direction. Besides the potential this film completely wasted, the only other thing I enjoyed about this movie was the rich background it created. This is the only time the director/writer succeeded in the film. Gareth Edwards failed at creating interest, tension, unique creatures, decent special effects, action and scares in this movie but he did succeed in creating a world that looked like it was infected with an alien lifeform. The background characters trying to live in the "infected zone" looked far more interesting than the two imbeciles the story revolves around. However, the price of viewing this movie (even if you download it for free on the internet) is not worth it just to see background characters.

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