Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Feast III: The Happy Ending

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Feast III: The Happy Ending - 1 out of 5

I realize the filmmakers were trying to be ironic when they call the final film in their series "The Happy Ending" but for me, the only reason it was happy was the fact the torture was finally ended. If you read my review of the 2nd film, you'd realize I was not a fan of it but was a fan of the first film. I say was because the horror I had to sit through for these two follow-ups have made me reconsider how I feel about the film that started it all.

When I first saw Feast, I thought that this was just about as good as it gets with dark comedies within the horror genre. The movie was soaked in the feel of a horror film but was witty with its humor and had a great script and cast backing it up. However, it seems that this quality was completely left behind for the 2nd one in favor of fart and dick jokes. This formula was repeated for the final one as well.

The story takes off where the last one left off and follows the continuing struggle for survival of the characters (if you can call them that) from the 2nd one. This film also establishes some new characters but the problem is that, like the last one, none of the characters are well acted or even interesting so you spend an hour and a half watching annoying people, for the most part, do nothing. Also, like the last one, scenes are padded out to the point of annoyance in a very obvious attempt to get this film to a feature length. Maybe I'm old school but if your script doesn't have enough story to get to at least an hour and a half WITHOUT resorting to five minute scenes of people screaming, you need to go back to the drawing board.

I could go on and on about why this movie is just crap but the reality is, everything single thing that was wrong about the last one is repeated in this film and I really don't feel like sounding like a broken record (read my review of the last one to find out why this one sucks so much ass). However, I want to elaborate how experiencing these terrible direct-to-DVD sequel has made me reconsider how I now feel about the first film.

Let's compare my experience to a relationship: The first film is like a great relationship with someone you care about. You're having fun and enjoying yourself but then the 2nd film comes along and it's the first time the person you care about decides to lie and cheat on you. You're hurt and upset but remember the good times so you forgive the person. However, the 3rd film comes along and it's the second offense. You're lied to and cheated on again and incapable of looking at the relationship the same.

In my opinion, it seems that the entertainment that came from the first film was a fluke. Just like how Peter Jackson got lucky thanks to loads of help and lots of money with The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (his luck became obvious after watching the torturous King Kong remake), the filmmakers behind Feast got lucky with their first film and had tons of cash backing them up (and many celebrities possibly helping with the script) thanks to Project: Greenlight. When left to their own devices, they create shit barely worth being called toilet humor. I mean the 2nd one and this one are bad enough on their own but imagine if they were combine into one long, horrible film? If you accidentally looked at the screen, your face would melt off like that Nazi in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.

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