Sunday, May 15, 2011

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds - 1 out of 5

First off, I really enjoyed the first Feast. It was witty, creative, original, funny, had a great cast, all around well made and did a fantastic job of making fun of horror film staples. However, it seemed the sequel decided to remove all those things and present to the audience a unrecognizable mush that is barely digestible for the eyes and brain. I don't even know where to begin or how to start talking about how absolutely NOTHING worked in this film.

Right off the bat, it's clear there was no money put into this film and that Project: Greenlight was the sole reason (with its money) why the first film looked so good. If you don't have the money to make you direct-to-DVD movie look half-way decent, don't put it out. That's all I have to say. And when you consider the fact the movie was disappointing on the whole, you might as well have taken the money you used to make it and flush it down the toilet...or give it to cancer research and do some good. Then, also right at the beginning of the film, you realize that the filmmakers had no idea what style they wanted to present this movie in. The first one had a very definitive style that was prevalent throughout the entire film but this one flip-flops constantly. At first, it tries to be one of Robert Rodriguez's shitty attempts at being a movie and then tries to be like the first film and then decides it wants to rip-off Rob Zombie's unique style. It actually becomes a bigger distraction than the lame characters, bad acting and terrible special effects.

However, the worst thing about this film is its complete lack of plot. The story is razor-thin and barely there but the plot (and its many holes) was nauseatingly bad. Characters do things with no real rhyme or reason and, when you finish the film, you realize that there was only about 15 minutes of actual content going on in the story. The rest of it is pathetic attempts at padding out scenes that go on painfully--PAINFULLY--long.

Feast II: Sloppy Seconds is a prime example of a sequel that didn't need to be made. With horrible acting and no story, there's no real reason to watch this film--especially if you enjoyed the first one because this one was so bad, it actually made me wonder if the acolytes I bestowed upon that one was worth it. The inane dialogue and pointless F-bombs thrown into every other line just goes to show how everything in this film was haphazardly put together. No time or effort went into anything on this film. The cast, the acting, the special effects, the script and the terrible dick and fart jokes--all of them just shat onto film and mass marketed to the world. The only real good thing about this film is the fact the Judah Friedlander returns to make a cameo but other than that, the title of the film pretty much sums it up. This movie is a sloppy mess.

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