Saturday, April 16, 2011

Hardbodies 2

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Hardbodies 2 - 1 out of 5

The first film was so bad it was funny but this film is even worse--to the point that you can't even laugh at it--you can't even enjoy the nearly overdose of gratuitous nudity the film gives you because it's that bad.

I can't be sure, but I think this is suppose to be a continuation of the first film. I mean the main unlikeable character from the first one; Scotty, is here (albeit, played by a different, equally untalented actor) but the love from the first film is gone and he's married to some random girl and, apparently he's become a big name actor. In fact, that's the film's story. It centers around a movie production filming a terrible sex comedy in Greece as antics seen during a sex comedy take place in the film's "real world." That makes me say: WTF?!? In fact, the whole film will make you sit and say, "What the fuck?!?"

For example, the movie's main character, Scotty. He's married to a young woman who, the film tries to make you hate by--and I'm not making this up--saying she gets lonely sitting around doing nothing while her husband acts and she doesn't trust he will be faithful as he stars in a sex comedy. Well, I'm sorry to say movie, I can't hate this woman because she has every right to not trust him as HE FALLS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN ON SET!!!! Then, the movie pulls out another desperate move to make you hate this wife character by making--and again, I'm not making this up--her a shopaholic. WOW! Is that the best you got movie? No, it isn't because I imagine the filmmakers realized that Scotty continuously comes off as the douche bag so they decide to have the wife cheat on Scotty. But at this point, Scotty has already been fantasizing about another woman, flirts with the new girl and even can't wait for the sex scenes with her in the movie. So, Hardbodies 2, I ask you: Who is the real piece of garbage: The wife or Scotty?

And then you have all the girls of Greece fawning over the extremely annoying character of Rags. Why the women love him? It's never explained as his character is just a buffoon who provides no humor or charm. To be honest, he is such a scenery chewer, I'm surprised Andrew McCarthy didn't get the part as that man made a living playing characters like Rags in the 80's.

This is basically what Hardbodies 2 offers you: A shitty story, a lot of pointless nudity and a whole host of characters you couldn't give a shit about. All this leads me to believe that I am being very generous giving this 80's piece of junk a 1 out of 5.

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