Sunday, January 16, 2011

Children of the Corn 7: Revelation

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Children of the Corn 7: Revelation - 1 out of 5

The final sequel (hopefully) in the absolutely terrible franchise based on an EXTREMELY weak short story. The usual stuff is here--the same shit we've seen in all the previous films: Bad acting and boring story. Honestly, it's a complete mystery that this, the worst horror film franchise to ever exist, ever made it to number 7. I think it's time that He Who Walks Behind the Rows gives up trying because it's painfully obvious he will never accomplish his goals as weak characters with no real depth are able to take him down over and over and over again. The only real highlight of this film is that, for the first time, it actually introduces nudity to the series. Come on, CotC franchise, nudity is a staple of the horror film genre, why did you wait till number 7 to bring some hot nakedness?!? It isn't a good sign for your movie that 3 minutes of naked breasts is the only thing in an hour and half movie that is worth watching. In fact, in the total amount of time added up from ALL the Children of the Corn movies, those 3 minutes are the ONLY thing worth watching in all of it. And that's sad. Even sadder: I still have to sit through the made-for-TV remake of the original story. Epic sad face.

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