Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Children of the Corn 666: Issac's Return

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Children of the Corn 666: Issac's Return - 1 out of 5

In 1999, Children of the Corn returned for another (direct to video) installment of it's absolutely GOD AWFUL series and this time, it was so chock full of evil (and it was the 6th movie) that it deserved the title 666. Did I say deserve? Because it didn't. The only thing evil about this movie (and the series) is the fact they keep getting away with releasing EXTREMELY boring additions. And this addition is just as boring as the others--except in this one, John Franklin returns to portray Issac who, despite being possessed, stabbed and burned (and, if I remember correctly, blown up) in the first film. This is a milestone for the franchise as it introduces the only time a character returns from a previous film. That, sadly, is the only interesting thing about this movie. Other than that, it continues to be the same crap. Boring and dragging story, terrible acting and a sense of wonder that comes when you stop and think about HOW ON EARTH these movies were greenlit to be made in the first place. It's also amusing to see how late to the game this franchise was with the grudge era as every kid in the city seems to be a reject from Nirvana's "Smells like Teen Spirit" video. Also interesting is the fact that Gatlin doesn't seem to have any paved streets as every time we see people drive, it's down a dirt road going between cornfields. I seem to remember an actual city in the first one but hey, it's a crappy direct to video horror film, right?

What else can I say about this piece of crap? Oh, it seems Stacy Keach (Titus) needed a paycheck because he appears in this film and doesn't seem to be trying. But other than that, the CotC series continues to hold up the level of crap that it has with the other films.

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