Friday, December 10, 2010

Disneynature: Oceans

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Disneynature: Oceans - 3 out of 5

I'm a big fan of nature documentaries. Especially documentaries about life under the waves--which is funny because I'm not a fan of swimming in the ocean--however, Disney didn't really accomplish much with this trip into our deep seas.

The visuals are nice to look at but the film won't teach you much as the narration provides little in the form of facts about the wildlife. In fact, the narration alone is enough to harm this movie due to the fact whoever wrote the crummy lines that Pierce Brosnan reads (and not even convincingly I might add. It's almost as if Brosnan doesn't buy the crap he's paid to read) sounds more like bad poetry written by one of those struggling writers who thinks they're more talented than all other writers and tells this "fact" to everyone who will listen while they are making coffee at the local Starbucks. I have nothing against Brosnan for being the narrator (I actually felt bad for him having to read the garbage they gave him) but only one man should be allowed to write and narrate a nature doc...the man, the legend...Sir David Attenborough.

Even worse than the shitty narration is the fact that Disney (who almost seems like they TRY to crap up their films sometimes) pulls out one of their cookie-cutter, run-of-the-mill pop stars that litters their terrible shows on their horrible network and let's them sing some cliche song in their cliche voices about how we need to protect nature. I'm all for living green but having one of the Jonas brothers tell me to protect the world only sounds fake, forced and pandering in order to keep up appearances.

But my hat goes off to Disney as they continue their tradition of phoning in everything they do. Disneynature: Oceans lacks any real focus as we, the viewer, are tossed from one end of the planet to the other with no real direction or educational value. Despite great underwater photography, silly narration and a pandering song by two very untalented Disney clones make this a movie not worth sitting through unless you are a fan of the nature documentaries.

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