***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!
Jonah Hex - 3 out of 5
I was never a fan of the character of Jonah Hex or the comic books he had. The writing always felt sloppy and his stories often contradicted each other. But after seeing the movie, I am wondering if the filmmakers were trying to recreate that feel.
While not entirely bad, this movie is far from good. The story feels quite rushed and moves really fast and spends more time retelling Hex's origin (at least three times it's told--at least that's what I remember) and not on the details of the superweapon that is stolen by the bad guy and is the central point of the story. They don't even explain how the damn thing works.
The special effects, while not terrible, are not the best either by today's standards and much of the acting is just downright awful. First and foremost, the casting of Megan Fox was just a terrible choice as she REALLY hurts this movie. Her delivery is exactly the same as it was in Transformers--lazy to the point you wonder if someone slipped something in her drink--an act like that would mystify me because I don't understand why ANYONE would find that woman attractive with her spray-on tan orange skin (that always looks greasy) and her cocktease/whorish ways (she won't do nude scenes but she will gladly use her sex appeal to keep her acting career going--because it's not her ability TO act keeping her career moving--hence the cocktease/whorish ways) makes me worry I could get an STD just looking at her. The cast gets even worse as John Malkovich phones in his role (again! Something he's been doing for the last few years despite the fact he is talented) and Will Arnett is, mysteriously, in this film. Why exactly was he in it is completely unknown to me as his character brings nothing to the table.
What hurts this movie even more is the changes made to the character of Hex. In the comics, he was a badass antihero who was great with a gun. In the movie, he is still great with a gun but now he has supernatural powers and can bring the dead back to life. Although this change does showcase some decent special effects (all the special effects money must have been spent on this part because the rest isn't that great) it does, however, make me wonder why this was done in the first place as a story about a great bounty hunter out for revenge (a normal gunslinger with no powers) would have been just fine by me.
With all the bad working against this movie, there are some good things going on, too (hence, balancing out this movie at a 3 and not higher or lower). The action scenes are entertaining and the music (done by Mastodon frontman Brent Hinds) is fantastic...provided you done focus on the fact that heavy metal guitars are used during an era where they weren't even invented yet but the soundtrack was still really rocking and really helped legitimize the action unfolding on screen. Finally, Josh Brolin does a great job bringing the character to life (supernatural changes and all). He delivers some great one-liners while battling his foes but starts to skirt the edge near Dark Knight territory as his voice almost becomes as bad as Christian Bale's...he gets close to that edge but, thankfully, doesn't go over it and try to sound like a Bale's brooding Richard Nixon impression he does under the cowl.
Jonah Hex is NOT DC's best property and I don't know why it was chosen to make a film adaptation but, even though there is some bad effects, some bad actors and a terribly rushed story, the movie delivers on some decent action sequences that makes it a mediocre popcorn movie that is worth a single viewing but nothing more.