***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!
H2: Halloween II - 1 out of 5
If Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween was a bigger black eye on the franchise than all of the sequels combined (including H2O and Resurrection), than this sequel to the remake is a disemboweling.
I thought the first one was as bad as it got as Rob Zombie filled the film with completely unlikeable characters played by piss-poor actors and boiled down one of horror's greatest icons into a generic serial killer but this film, filled with even worse acting, a bare-bones story and a sloppy plot that seems like its randomly stringing together random scenes together randomly (by the way, that was a joke--using the word 'random' three times).
In the last decade, horror flicks have decided that the viewer no longer needs to cheer on the protagonist to victory as they are filled with completely annoying and unlikable characters that we now cheer on their demise just to rid the screen of them. Rob Zombie did this in the last film with the casting of Scout Taylor-Compton as Laurie. Remember in the original Halloween when Laurie was played by Jamie Lee Curtis and we loved her and wanted her to survive because she was pure and, above all, a great actor. We don't get that with Taylor-Compton. Instead, we get this annoying actor who has an attitude in her voice in every single line she utters. I should NOT be cheering for Michael Myers to kill her. The irritating cast only gets worse when the usually talented Malcolm McDowell plays the laughably bad Dr. Loomis. Zombie changed this character from the obsessive type he was in the original to a money grubbing and (surprise, surprise) and selfish character that you hate. WHY?!? Why must I hate every character in this movie?
However, there are some good things going on in the cast. Tyler Mane (who I had the privileged of meeting and he's a wonderfully nice man) returns as Michael Myers and he, without a doubt, has a great screen presence and does a good job of filling the shoes of the serial killer. Also returning is the awesome Brad Dourif as Sheriff Leigh Brackett. There are also a couple of small roles that are filled terrifically by the likes of Dayton Callie (Sons of Anarchy), Bill Fagerbakke (Coach and the voice of Patrick in SpongeBob SquarePants) and Mark Boone Junior (30 Days of Night and Sons of Anarchy) but this all becomes nil and void as Zombie once again puts his wife in the mix. I am very sorry to say this, Mr. Zombie but your wife, Sheri Moon Zombie, is NOT a good actress. It's sweet that you care about her and want her in your projects but she does more harm than good. Sure she's attractive and nice to look at but her lack of acting really harms every role you give her. And in this movie, it was very painfully obvious that you HAD to give her a role as she is playing the ghost of the character she portrayed in the first film--a film, by the way, she died in. Come on, Rob! Is she using the threat of taking away sex in order to get herself in these movies?
I'm not trying to be mean to Rob Zombie because, believe it or not with the amount of shit I give him, I like the guy. I was a big fan of White Zombie and his first solo album and had such high hopes for his movie career because he has such a creative eye but I've learned that his strength is NOT with writing. Like his other films, the editing is done really well, his choice of music for scenes is fantastic and his directing style is unique and awesome! But when he writes a film, he falls into the pit of horror film cliches. If a talented horror writer wrote the story, let Rob direct it and he kept his wife out of it and put in talented actors, you have the potential for an awesome film to be made.