Friday, November 26, 2010

Eaten Alive (Mangiati Vivi!)

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Eaten Alive (Mangiati Vivi!) - 1 out of 5

If you've ever seen a movie about cannibals, you know that story is not the main focus. Instead, they are more concerned with the gore involved. If you've ever watched several cannibal movies, you know that they tend to blur together and it's hard to tell one from the other. And if you've ever seen an Italian cannibal movie, you know they suck. (Hopefully you know this...if you don't and like them, I apologize)

Italian filmmakers love making gory movies and zombies and cannibals are often the subject matter they used to get these items across the silver screen...oh, and sex--they love to put sex in their movies too. In fact, Eaten Alive (a movie that seemingly has gone by at least a dozen other titles throughout the world) seems to follow the Italian horror film formula as it has a poorly crafted story that only works to string together the scenes of nudity, rape, violence and gore. But surprisingly, this is one of the LEAST gory cannibal films to come from filmmaker Umberto Lenzi.

Honestly, this movie is terrible and offers little in the form of entertainment (even on an ironic level like making fun of the terrible acting and filmmaking). The actors are humorous to watch, especially the porn star Robert Kerman who takes the lead and, for some reason, spends a lot of the movie hitting women (and most of the time, it's completely random. Like, in one scene, he pointless shoves a woman to the ground). The story is also barely there as it focuses around a woman who goes to New Guinea to find her lost sister. There some business about a cult in the jungles who have a turf war with a group of cannibals but really, these elements are only there to give an excuse to showcase sex, rape and death scenes.

There is no redeeming qualities to this movie as even the gore is laughably bad and completely unrealistic. Riffing fans will have a hard time making fun of the movie as it's level of awkwardness is too high to even laugh at and horror fans will be equally put off with the lack of story and silly looking gore.

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