Friday, June 24, 2016


***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion (or other commenters), that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! So...this wasn't a sequel to the Michael Jackson film?


Moonwalkers – 2 out of 5

If you’ve spent a single second on the internet then you know that there are people out there that believe that the moon landing was fake.  There was a dark time in my past when I entertained the idea, however, in my defense, I was young and impressionable and the belief did not last long—in fact, almost immediately after entertaining the idea, I saw the light when I watched the experts give their facts on the actual landing and noticed how crazy those who believe it was faked came off.  Those that think the landing was engineered in a movie studio believe that the government hired legendary director Stanley Kubrick to do it and that he has spent the rest of his career hiding clues of this stunt within his films (see the insane documentary Room 237 to absorb that insanity).  Even though all this is complete and utter nonsense, one can’t deny the potential for an entertaining story this bologna legend entails.  Moonwalkers had that potential to unlock this fun and promisingly hilarious premise but does it deliver on that?

So...Hellboy 3 or what?

With a desire to prove that America got to the moon first, the US government sends their PTSD-ridden CIA agent (Ron Perlman) to England to find the famed director Stanley Kubrick.  However, after being duped by a desperate rock band manager (Rupert Grint), the two end up falling down the rabbit hole of eccentric 60s artists, free love, drugs, and an overwhelming desire for deceiving the world.

What a bunch of hogwash!  Jet fuel can't send a man to plant a false flag on
the moon. 

There was so much damn potential to Moonwalkers that it was almost painful that it failed utterly to achieve it.  This is one of those film that, with just hearing what its synopsis is (and the fact that Ron Perlman is in it), and I was chomping at the bit to see it.  The comedy that this film could have achieved playing off the real-life conspiracy theories and the era that the film takes place in seems like a home run but the final product was just…boring.

This film had a damn wizard in it, for crying out loud.  He should have used his magic.

Wait, I'm being told magic is not real and that my whole life is a lie.

Ron Perlman and Rupert Grint are both doing a great job with their roles but neither man is strong enough to save the film and weren’t enough to really capture and hold my attention.  While these two are both doing a great job, I can’t say I was overly impressed with the rest of the cast.  Occasionally, some of the smaller roles were okay but too often many of the supporting cast to Grint and Perlman’s roles were barely serviceable with the performances and the characters they played were even less so.  In fact, beyond the struggle that Perlman’s character had in Nam and the struggling career of Grint’s character, the rest of the characters can't even hold a candle to the dynamic character attributes the leads had and they were terribly uninteresting and, at times, downright annoying and totally unlikable.

Okay, I'll give the movie points for putting Perlman in that blouse.

The final nail in the coffin that is Moonwalkers is the fact that I just couldn’t get into the story.  Too often it just dragged and, when it wasn’t doing that, it felt like it was just going through the motions.  I just couldn’t get my attention grabbed and held onto with this one and the jokes and gags that I just didn’t find at all amusing or funny only made matters worse.  I really wanted to like this film because it had the potential to be very entertaining and fun but, in the end, I just found a film that was boring and felt completely uninspired.

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