Ted 2 – 4 out of 5
I really enjoyed the first Ted movie when it came out and
was fairly excited to see another ridiculous and potentially offensive second
adventure with Marky Mark and his talking, pot-smoking teddy bear—although, I
didn’t want to see it bad enough to run out to the theater to see it
there. Sure, I really liked the first
one but sequels can be a bit of a gamble and with the fact that it pretty much
costs an arm and a leg to just get into the door of a theater, I decided that I
would wait this one out until I could get it from RedBox (name drop!). Well, that day came…so, what did I think
about Ted 2? Wait, don’t look at the
score—shit, you probably already did. Oh
well, I guess you already know what I think…but if you read on I’ll tell you
the details of my feelings on Ted 2 and maybe even have some cookies for us to
share at the end of this review!
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Living the dream...the dream of smoking pot with a talking teddy bear. |
After the adventures of the first film, Ted (Seth
MacFarlane) gets married to his girlfriend Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) while John
(Mark “The Eyer of Lemon Drinks” Wahlberg) is nursing a broken heart after his wife
left him. As Ted tries to desperately
get John back in the game, he’s horrified to learn that, in the eyes of the
law, he isn’t considered as person after he and his wife try to have a
child. Soon, he loses his job and his
marriage is annulled. He and John seek
the legal aid of young lawyer Samantha J. Jones (Amanda Seyfried) to help him
battle for civil rights. The case seems
hopeless and he seems destined to be ruled as property. His only hope is famed civil rights attorney
Patrick Meighan (Morgan Freeman); however, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), the deranged
psycho from the previous film, is hot on his trail to extract revenge on the
bear.
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Freeman is here to class this shit up! |
For the most part, Ted 2 is pretty much the same as the
first film. Two stoner buddies getting
into wild shenanigans while doing copious amounts of narcotics and having a lot
of pop culture and nostalgia references thrown around during some cartoony
action. That isn’t me talking despairingly
about the feature because I did find it entertaining and fun but I won’t
necessarily say it is as fun as the first film.
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The lack of fun was all Seyfried's fault. I'm just kidding...or am I? No, I am. She was just fine in the film. |
Like everything Seth MacFarlane makes, the film just feels
like Family Guy but with different ingredients.
It has a lot of offensive humor, dick gags, insult jokes and lots and
lots of references to movies and 80s sitcoms.
Also, like most of MacFarlane’s work, the final product is a machine gun
constantly spitting out jokes like bullets.
Naturally, this formula leads to a wide spectrum of quality and some
jokes are flippin’ fantastic (like Liam Neeson’s short scene and a Battle
Royale that occurs at New York City Comic-Con), some are okay (like some
overdone, hacky pop culture one-liners like something you’d hear an open-mic
comic talk about when he brings up the Kardashians) and some of them get to the
point that you wonder if they are even jokes and if they haven’t just crossed
the line of MacFarlane just recreating his favorite moments from movies (like a
Jurassic Park sequence that starts as an amusing parody and ends very awkwardly). Of course, comedy is subjective so it’s
natural to understand that what I thought was unfunny will be hysterical to
others and what was hysterical to me might be dumb to someone and that person
now hates me and wants me dead for finding it funny. Whoever you are, please don’t hurt me.
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Especially if that person is you, Liam. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I 100% believe you are the badass you always play in movies. |
The only real issues I had with the film is the fact that a
love interest for the character of John feels way, way too forced and never
really feels natural to the plot.
Additionally, the special effects that brought Ted to life this time
around didn’t feel as organic as the previous film. While he, for the most part, interacts with
other characters and the environments seamlessly, there were quite a few scenes
where he really looked like he was composited it and it really hurt my suspension of disbelief. Granted,this wasn’t terrible but was a bit distracting
in those few sequences. Finally, the
threat to Ted from Donny and Donny’s plan never really feels that well
developed and felt like a hastily added on B-plotline that is established
quickly and forgotten about for most of the film until he’s brought back and
the threat resolved too abruptly in the final act. It has its place but comes off too sloppy.
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Also...where was his son the whole time this went on? Probably somewhere safe from him, I'm assuming. |
Ted 2 definitely has some storytelling issues and a case of
sequel-itis (a condition where the second film feels too much like the first
one and results in something that is still fun and familiar but a little too
familiar—it’s a totes real condition, I swear).
The performances and cameos are fun and there are a lot of great jokes
that kept me giggling the entire time but it definitely isn’t as memorable as
the first film. It loses points for
having the sense of being an obligatory sequel but, in the grand scheme of
sequels, it really wasn’t as bad as sequels can get and I really did have a lot
of fun watching it.
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Honestly, this might be the best joke of the film. If you don't know why, I won't explain it to ya. That's what Google is for...that and porn. |