Ted 2 – 4 out of 5
I really enjoyed the first Ted movie when it came out and was fairly excited to see another ridiculous and potentially offensive second adventure with Marky Mark and his talking, pot-smoking teddy bear—although, I didn’t want to see it bad enough to run out to the theater to see it there. Sure, I really liked the first one but sequels can be a bit of a gamble and with the fact that it pretty much costs an arm and a leg to just get into the door of a theater, I decided that I would wait this one out until I could get it from RedBox (name drop!). Well, that day came…so, what did I think about Ted 2? Wait, don’t look at the score—shit, you probably already did. Oh well, I guess you already know what I think…but if you read on I’ll tell you the details of my feelings on Ted 2 and maybe even have some cookies for us to share at the end of this review!
|Living the dream...the dream of smoking pot with a talking teddy bear.|
After the adventures of the first film, Ted (Seth MacFarlane) gets married to his girlfriend Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) while John (Mark “The Eyer of Lemon Drinks” Wahlberg) is nursing a broken heart after his wife left him. As Ted tries to desperately get John back in the game, he’s horrified to learn that, in the eyes of the law, he isn’t considered as person after he and his wife try to have a child. Soon, he loses his job and his marriage is annulled. He and John seek the legal aid of young lawyer Samantha J. Jones (Amanda Seyfried) to help him battle for civil rights. The case seems hopeless and he seems destined to be ruled as property. His only hope is famed civil rights attorney Patrick Meighan (Morgan Freeman); however, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), the deranged psycho from the previous film, is hot on his trail to extract revenge on the bear.
|Freeman is here to class this shit up!|
For the most part, Ted 2 is pretty much the same as the first film. Two stoner buddies getting into wild shenanigans while doing copious amounts of narcotics and having a lot of pop culture and nostalgia references thrown around during some cartoony action. That isn’t me talking despairingly about the feature because I did find it entertaining and fun but I won’t necessarily say it is as fun as the first film.
|The lack of fun was all Seyfried's fault. I'm just kidding...or am I?|
No, I am. She was just fine in the film.
Like everything Seth MacFarlane makes, the film just feels like Family Guy but with different ingredients. It has a lot of offensive humor, dick gags, insult jokes and lots and lots of references to movies and 80s sitcoms. Also, like most of MacFarlane’s work, the final product is a machine gun constantly spitting out jokes like bullets. Naturally, this formula leads to a wide spectrum of quality and some jokes are flippin’ fantastic (like Liam Neeson’s short scene and a Battle Royale that occurs at New York City Comic-Con), some are okay (like some overdone, hacky pop culture one-liners like something you’d hear an open-mic comic talk about when he brings up the Kardashians) and some of them get to the point that you wonder if they are even jokes and if they haven’t just crossed the line of MacFarlane just recreating his favorite moments from movies (like a Jurassic Park sequence that starts as an amusing parody and ends very awkwardly). Of course, comedy is subjective so it’s natural to understand that what I thought was unfunny will be hysterical to others and what was hysterical to me might be dumb to someone and that person now hates me and wants me dead for finding it funny. Whoever you are, please don’t hurt me.
|Especially if that person is you, Liam. I've said it before and I'll say it again:|
I 100% believe you are the badass you always play in movies.
The only real issues I had with the film is the fact that a love interest for the character of John feels way, way too forced and never really feels natural to the plot. Additionally, the special effects that brought Ted to life this time around didn’t feel as organic as the previous film. While he, for the most part, interacts with other characters and the environments seamlessly, there were quite a few scenes where he really looked like he was composited it and it really hurt my suspension of disbelief. Granted,this wasn’t terrible but was a bit distracting in those few sequences. Finally, the threat to Ted from Donny and Donny’s plan never really feels that well developed and felt like a hastily added on B-plotline that is established quickly and forgotten about for most of the film until he’s brought back and the threat resolved too abruptly in the final act. It has its place but comes off too sloppy.
|Also...where was his son the whole time this went on?|
Probably somewhere safe from him, I'm assuming.
Ted 2 definitely has some storytelling issues and a case of sequel-itis (a condition where the second film feels too much like the first one and results in something that is still fun and familiar but a little too familiar—it’s a totes real condition, I swear). The performances and cameos are fun and there are a lot of great jokes that kept me giggling the entire time but it definitely isn’t as memorable as the first film. It loses points for having the sense of being an obligatory sequel but, in the grand scheme of sequels, it really wasn’t as bad as sequels can get and I really did have a lot of fun watching it.
|Honestly, this might be the best joke of the film. If you don't know why, I won't|
explain it to ya. That's what Google is for...that and porn.