Friday, December 12, 2014

The November Man

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! The December Man just complains about how he's cold so there's no evidence for climate change and argues that there's a war on Christmas.

The November Man – 2 out of 5

I guess it would have made sense to watch The November Man in November.  It would have been amusing in the way that there are comedians out there still doing airline food and 4-hour erections jokes.  However, I didn’t watch it in November and, at the end of it all, it doesn’t matter because I’m fairly certain that there isn’t a single person out there who spent their entire November waiting to see if I reviewed this thing and awaited my response in order to judge if they would watch it or not.  Anyway…let’s get to that synopsis, shall we?

Well...Brosnan is waiting for my review.  He texted me the other day about it.  That's
no lie...I swear.

You can't tell me this dude is not a pro-wrestler or a roadie.
Peter Devereaux (Pierce Brosnan) is a great spy—like some sort of super spy.  One day, in 2008, Devereaux’s partner, David Mason (Luke Bracey), disobeys a direct order and ends up getting a kid killed during a mission.  Devereaux takes that moment to retire from the spy game but, like all sorts of games in life, the game decides to pull him back in.  His former boss asks him to help out a woman he cares for that’s deep undercover but his one time spy partner Mason is also on the mission and the two have no idea there are forces working to get them at each other’s throats and that force seems to be leading them towards a rabbit hole that is filled with corruption.

No, I don't think it's a spoiler to say he's a bad guy.  No one that frumpy and
bald is ever the good guy.

Chases and action scenes are exactly why my fruit stand
business had to close shop.
Okay, so the trailer for this film made it look like a cheap, generic, and a by-the-numbers spy thriller that wouldn’t hold the intrigue of a James Bond film (despite having a Bond in the film) or something more gritty and intricate as a Bourne film.  However, the action did look decent, so the potential for a average spy thriller with satisfying action but an uninspiring story was there and, as long as it is entertaining enough, that would suffice to bring about a film that is watchable and entertains mildly even though not thoroughly.  However, the film clearly thinks it is one of those complex spy thrillers and tries really hard to bring about a story that will keep you glued to the screen looking for clues…but, in doing so, just makes itself look even more generic and by-the-numbers.

If you're playing Spy Thriller Bingo, check off the square with "Protect the Girl
Who is Caught in the Middle of It."

The November Man isn’t a terrible film but it lacked the concise story needed to be an average film.  Brosnan is flippin’ great as Peter Devereaux and, like the trailer promised, the action is very entertaining.  However, the story is kinda boring and feels like it is wandering aimlessly to its next spy film cliché. 

Shit, Brosnan is pissed at me now.  And I might as well admit that I don't actually know
him and he's never texted me.

"It's called The Harlem Shake.  I think it'll be big and long-
That’s really the only killer this film has.  The story has many elements that work and could have made the film a little better to the point it hit a three on my score scale but so much of it feels lost among the sea of spy thriller tropes that it makes the story very hard to endure and even harder to really get sucked into.  Some elements, like parts of Devereaux’s past or a quick love interest for Mason’s character with the girl from The 100, feel tacked on and do little to help the plot move forward.

I know her name is Eliza Taylor because I have to hear her say it every flippin'
time I watch Arrow, The Flash, and Supernatural.  Or, as I call them, the only good
shows on the CW.

The look of a man who has to get up but, to his horror,
has an erection.
I still hold that The November Man isn’t a bad film.  From a technical standpoint, there’s nothing really going wrong.  The camera work looks great, the stunts are fantastic, and the acting in the film is very strong and there are some great scenes of the characters interacting.  The problem this film had was entirely on a story that didn’t look like it wanted to really standout or even try to be unique but, at the same time, try to make it appear as if it was.  So many elements of it feel out of place and it made all the stuff that worked look like it wasn’t doing enough to compensate.

It is now a legal requirement to have the Superman Punch in all action films.

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