Only Lovers Left Alive – 3 out of 5
I’ve never really been a fan of vampires. Sure, the old school Universal Bela Lugosi film is a classic and I do love seeing Wesley Snipes as Blade make short work of those blood suckers but, for the most part, I’ve just never cared about vampires. Maybe it’s because they remind me of the basket case emos I dealt with in high school or maybe it’s because there so much gawd damn staring from the undead monsters or maybe it’s because they now have an adaptation of their kin where they sparkle—I dunno, but they’ve always been my least favorite monster of the night. Give me zombies, werewolves—hell, give me Tea Party conservatives (actually, those fuckers are scarier than all supernatural beasts combined)—but vampires have never really been all that interesting to me. Maybe Only Lovers Left Alive can change that.
|"Argh! A vampire! Oh wait...we're vampires."|
|Who would have thought she would have been any sort of trouble?|
|It looks like a large collection of books but they're all just|
copies of Everybody Poops.
I heard a lot of good things about Only Lovers Left Alive and the trailer definitely made it look like a sorta haunting but somewhat emotional tale about two vampires that have been together for a very long time. Going into it, I knew it wasn’t going to be an exciting tale or something filled with a lot of flash and sizzle. I expected it to be slow moving. Hell, the emo look of Adam and Eve automatically told me the film wasn’t going to have a very complex story and, since this is vampires we’re talking about, there was going to probably be a lot of standing around, a bunch of staring (vampires love that shit), and laying around in weird poses…and it did all that.
|Man, being a vampire looks boring...|
I write this as I lay in bed watching old reruns of Sliders.
|Gawd damn, Hiddleston...do you even realize how|
dreamy you are? It's almost at impossible levels.
Even though I kinda expected this movie wasn’t going to have a very deep story that was ultra-engaging and knew that a lot of it would be mini-musical montages with little dialogue, I was still surprised by how little really happens in this film. I’m not complaining because the story is simplistic, I’m complaining more over the fact the story just didn’t feel complete or even that fulfilling. I understand the concept was suppose to have Ava come into Eve and Adam’s happy little lives and throw them into a loop because she has no impulse control but after Ava comes in and makes her mess, she is never seen again and never did I get the feeling that Adam and Eve couldn’t have recovered from what happened to them and then immediately go back to how their lives were. There was no real threat imposed by Ava’s actions and it really ended up making the film feel incomplete. And of course, the remnants of the story move very slowly and makes the movie feel like the entire film is just entries in the diaries of Adam and Eve with no real feeling of an overall connectivity.
|Let's not fuck around here, John Hurt is the real reason I watched this one...|
too bad his part wasn't bigger.
|I like the look Anton Yelchin is sporting in this film...|
he looks like he should be in an Allman Brothers
In all honesty, that’s my only real complaint about the film—the fact it doesn’t really feel like a flowing story or like it has a real direction it is going in. The film is shot beautifully and the acting is great. Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton have great chemistry together that it becomes frighteningly easy to believe that they are not only a non-traditional married couple but vampires as well. However, it doesn’t change the fact the film’s story did little to really get me invested in the lives of these two vamps and did practically nothing to convince me that they can never go back to their comfort levels again.
|"Take it easy, my love...think about all the horrible variations of vampires that we|
could have been written as..."