Pompeii – 2 out of 5
Wait…Mount Vesuvius erupts and kills everyone in Pompeii?!? Thanks for ruining the ending, History Books!
|Carrie-Anne Moss is in the film but, once the credits hit, I literally could not|
remember if she actually had any lines or not.
|Wait, he's walking away and not asking them if they|
are entertained or not?
|"Fuck yo city!"|
|"Nah, you know nothing Jon Snow!"|
(Read that caption in your best Mr. Ed impression. It'll
make the moment a lot funnier.)
|"Hmmm, that slave with the flawless skin, somehow washed and conditioned|
hair and meticulously trimmed beard has made my loins quiver."
|If nothing else, Harington could really stare the fuck|
out of everything in this film.
|Sutherland was clearly having such a good time in this role that it is not hard|
to imagine him high-fiving everyone on the production after every freakin' take.
|"Come, let us form a bond of brotherhood in the arena...|
It's not like some natural disaster is going to kill
us anytime soon."
|Those aren't masks, their faces froze like that when they saw the eruption.|
I won’t lie here, Vesuvius erupting and the madness that follows its explosive wrath was great fun to watch. Even with all the disaster movie clichés like the daughter getting separated from her mother and is saved only seconds before the surrounding havoc consumes and nearly destroys her or how the one guy who was a dick to our story’s protagonist gets singled out for death by the chaos like Mount Vesuvius itself grew rocky hands and pointed directly at them and said, “You…you’re next!” Even with all that, it was still visceral and fun to watch. Additionally, the special effects on the volcano itself were spectacular and looked fantastic! However, aside from this, Pompeii didn’t really offer much that made it worth a viewing beyond just seeing if someone uploaded the eruption to YouTube.
|Honestly, it was the curly-Q's in the beard and the hair on the man on the right|
that made Vesuvius single him out.
|Seriously, this looks cool.|