47 Ronin – 2 out of 5
47 Ronin was one of those films that, when I saw the trailer, I noticed Keanu Reeves (shut up, I like the guy) and samurai AND a dragon and I was like, “Everyone shut up, this movie has all I need.” However, I never got to the theater to see it because, of all ironies, I had to fight a dragon with some samurai (which I later found out was a vindictive coworker spiking my tea with LSD). After sitting down with the DVD, I can’t say that I missed much.
|Ha ha...Keanu always runs from me. You can't run away from friendship, Reeves!|
|Someone just told him his hat looks like a penis.|
|She's crying because she lost her dad and just realized she's in love with Neo and |
remembers what happened to the last girl that loved The One.
|Oh shit, it's Shang Tsung! Quick, hide your souls!|
|Just so you know, one of the 47 has bitch tits.|
|"Um, the rest of the 47 got lost on their way here..."|
|Look, I don't think he's a bad actor.|
I also liked the supernatural/fantasy element the film had—even though some of the special effects weren’t that great…
|Jesus Christ, what the fuck is that thing?!?|
|Wait a minute...the foreign exchange student from Pretty|
in Pink was in this film?
|But it's hard to completely hate a film that has a dragon in it.|