The Counselor – 2 out of 5
I guess if you have a weak script, you can try and cover it up with lots of explosions or pointless nudity but, if you don’t want to do that, just add a bunch of really talented actors (and Cameron Diaz) and maybe the audience won’t notice that the film really doesn’t have much going on in the story or plot.
|But it does have Javier Bardem with ridiculous hair!|
|Fassbender, seen here turning into The Joker.|
|How exactly does she get work?|
|Even Javier can't figure out her appeal. Seriously, he looks|
|Pitt can hypnotize all mortal men with that stare...might be the only reason I gave it a |
2 out of 5.
The whole caused for problems in this film is a single death that very, very, very, very weakly is connected to the Counselor and then the cartel decides he needs to die. Basically, the man who works for the cartel is murdered and the drugs he was in charge of getting is stolen and the Counselor once represented the man’s mother and did her a favor by getting him out of a speeding ticket. After he is killed the mother said, “Ah, obviously my lawyer who’s done nothing but right by me has killed my son and now he must die.” The link that basically creates the story for the film is the cartel and the boy’s mother thinks it’s suspicious that he gets the dude out of jail in time to die. That’s honestly the best explanation the movie offers for deciding that the Counselor needs to be hunted by drug dealers. It’s pretty laughable and makes the cartel look like a bunch of brain-dead monkeys in the film as they give into internet commenters-like knee jerk reactions rather than actually take a moment and realize that their business is ruthless and it isn’t beyond the question that a third party may be out there to kill in order to destroy their business. It really felt like no care was placed into finding a reason to put the Counselor’s life in danger…fuck, more care was put into the carpet munching scene with Fassbender and Cruz than was put into the rest of the film.
|Seriously, production was making love to this scene and ignoring everything else.|
|"Oh, look up there, it's a better movie!"|
|It's like the production acknowledged that they had to add more recognizable and talented|
people in order to cover up the fact Cameron Diaz was in the film.
|If only the movie allowed the leopards owned by Javier Bardem's|
character to drive an SUV...it would have improved the story.