Wednesday, October 30, 2013

The Heat

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! Oh THE Heat...I thought Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy were a part of a remake of the classic Michael Mann film with Bobby De Niro and Al Pacino.




The Heat – 4 out of 5

While the title feels a little bit lazy, The Heat doesn’t disappoint on the whole comedy thing…which is good because it’s a comedy. Boy, wouldn’t it be awkward if it was an erotic thriller and it ended up being funny. That scenario is 78% stranger when you consider the main characters are played by Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy.


And somehow Marlon Wayans is in it.  Seen here after he remembered most of his career.


Okay, so The Heat is about a go-getter of an F.B.I. agent named Ashburn (Sandra Bullock) who is really, really good at her job and does so by-the-books but, because of this, she’s not really liked by her fellow agents. When the opportunity arises for a promotion, Ashburn jumps on it but first needs to solve a case involving a drug kingpin and she must do it with the help of a local detective named Mullins (Melissa McCarthy). Now the clean and primped government agent must form an unlikely partnership with a gruff, foul-mouth local cop…it’s like The Odd Couple—except, a whole lot more swearing, testicle jokes and Bullock playing the straight man.


Also there's a huge dildo in it...or maybe that's part of a missile launcher.
I don't know.  I don't get out much.


Friends, colleagues, acquaintances from various film groups I’m a part of and enemies that share a Xavier/Magneto, “We’re not so different you and I” relationship all seemed to agree on one thing: This movie is fucking hilarious (my enemies have very filthy language). While I didn’t disagree with them or predict it would prove otherwise to me, I decided to wait on this one because of one thing. While I am a fan of Melissa McCarthy and pretty much knew, without actually watching the film, that she was going to be scene-stealingly hilarious I’m just not a fan of Sandra Bullock.


I mean just look at her...wearing pajamas and shit.




One face suggests his fly is open, the other suggests he
had a lot of Mexican for lunch.
There was probably a time, in the 90s most likely, when she was fighting speeding buses and cock-punching the internet (I think that was the plots of Speed and The Net) that I found her to be okay. I guess when she was the quirky 90s chic who falls for Neo when he saved her from King Koopa’s bus bomb hard-on or sitting on the beach in a black bikini probably soaking in heavy doses of radiation from her obsolete laptop seemed to work for 90s Rev. but, as time went by and I saw her in more roles, I realized that I don’t really find her that convincing of an actress. I don’t know the exact moment (but I know it wasn’t Demolition Man because NOTHING about that movie sucks. It’s a scientific fact!) but I realized I just didn’t care for Bullock’s acting—there was nothing about her that really sparked my interest. Even when she walked by me at Comic-Con this year, I could even muster a little bit of star gazing and found I was more interested in the guy who was probably dying of dehydration in his home-made Voltron cardboard suit just ten feet away.


Hey look, it's one of those New Kids.  You know, from The Block.


However, Bullock proves to be something of noteworthy for me in this one. Honestly, she was a great straight man (or woman, let’s not get sexist here…just ignore the bikini comment from earlier) to McCarthy. The interaction between the two characters is what sells the movie. The story is nothing we haven’t seen before as unlikely team ups in the world of law enforcement is pretty standard stuff in Hollywood…and they’re ALWAYS about polar opposites being forced to team up for one reason or another. Sometimes it’s a neat freak teaming up with a slobbering dog or a gruff, lone wolf cop teaming up with a monkey or a dog being punished and forced to work with Jim Belushi or the overused cliché of the soft spoken Catholic priest who moonlights as a cop and has to put his personal issues aside and work with a dark overlord from the realm of Hell (Come on, Hollywood, we’ve seen enough of that one!) but no matter the team that is forged, the formula is basically the same. While that’s all apparent in The Heat, the comedy that is ushered unto us from Bullock and McCarthy is unlike anything we’d get from the likes of Chuck “The Real Joke is My Career” Norris and a dog.


A funny buddy cop comedy that didn't have to rely on an animal sidekick.
Of course, Rex Reed might disagree with that statement...but Rex Reed is an asshole.




Moments later, a manure truck crashed through the wall.
It’s not just Bullock/McCartney being funny in this one either because they are surrounded by people who all create some very memorable and hilarious moments. The former bane of the McFlys' existence and later man servant; Thomas F. Wilson, has a few hilarious moments earlier on in the film as Mullins’ boss but one of the best running gags, in my opinion, of the movie was Mullins’ antagonizing another agent from ANOTHER agency working on the case…who just so happens to be an albino (played by Dan Bakkedahl).  Albinos, they're so easy to make fun of...unless it's an albino orc with a metal hand.  If that's the case, then albinos are fucking terrifying.

Second thought, he's pretty terrifying too.


While the story of The Heat is very straight-forward and familiar, the one thing this film is incredibly successful at is its comedy. The movie was funnier than I had anticipated but it wouldn’t have been so if Bullock and McCartney didn’t work so well together. Their chemistry on screen is quite obvious and they play well off each other. They gel so well that some of the simplest interactions the two have causes some of the funniest, silliest moments. Both of them fire amazingly well with their comedic timing and it causes the movie to fly by in a sea of laughing-induced tears and a riotous chorus of “ha ha’s” and “hee hee’s”…but none of those damn “lol” things kids-now-a-days keep talking about.  I don't even know what an "lol" is.  It probably has something to do with sex or drugs...



McCartney is showing us the level of funny she brings to the movie.  In reality, it's
higher than that but she clearly is her own harshest critic.


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