Birdemic 2: The Resurrection – 0 out of 5
The first Birdemic film was magical. The film is just an absolute piece of crap but, like other crap films like The Room, Troll 2 and Top Gun, the movie was bad on such a level and filled with such shitty examples of piss poor filmmaking that it automatically became a joy to watch. The film was fun because the acting sucked, the special effects looked worse than a Windows 95 screensaver, and the atrocious sound and video editing…oh and then there was that funky song that was an ode to one man’s incest obsessed family and how they love to “hook up” while just “hanging out.”
|"This next song is about the purest love out there...the love one has for his family..."|
|"Does anyone else see really bad CGI hovering over our heads?|
Seriously, all the awful qualities of this movie worked together like an out-of-tune orchestra and ended up making something that was worth watching—just not for the reasons that the director, writer and obsessed fan of The Birds, James Nguyen, intended for the movie. To make things even better for this first foray into raping Alfred Hitchcock’s corpse, the hilarity-makers over at RiffTrax produced a fantastic riff commentary on the film…seriously, check out that one. However, it was inevitable that a film that ended up receiving as much attention as Birdemic: Shock and Terror did, would end up getting a sequel but the charm that was slopped upon the first one was replaced with Nguyen’s bad attempt at parodying himself and, in doing so, killed the only reason the first film was watchable.
|You can actually hear a "DUHHHHH" sound emit |
from this picture.
|"Okay, you can do this...left, right, left...make sure one leg is out front and the opposite|
leg is behind and the third leg--wait, do I have a third leg? Damn, I can't remember."
|"I'm complete indistinguishable from the blond white|
girl from the first movie!"
|"It's the bark beetles fault. First the birds, then they shut the government down,|
then they leave the toilet seat up and get me addicted to meth...then they made this movie."
Oh, and did I mention that, for some reason, zombies, blood rain and resurrected cavemen show up? Because, why the fuck not?
|Seriously, why the fuck not?|
|Okay, never mind, Nguyen needs to be stopped.|
|I can only hope that filming on the Universal Studios tour|
bankrupt Nguyen so we don't have to endure Birdemic 3.
|This movie did succeed in capturing, with absolute perfection however, documented evidence|
of how awkward white people look high-fiving.
Watching this movie is like watching someone fall down. You shouldn’t be laughing but you can’t help it, the dude fell on his face (and if you’re lucky, a wedding cake was the bullseye his face was aiming for). You see a dude fall intentionally to try and get laughs; it’s just not as funny. In fact, it’s kinda sad seeing someone so desperate for your approval that they willingly risk injuring themselves. That’s basically what Birdemic 2 is; it’s James Nguyen intentionally falling down and hoping we all find it amusing. He even throws in some boobies to further try and win your approval.
Birdemic 2: The Resurrection is just awful. Ignoring the fact that Nguyen and his crew know nothing about story, acting and filmmaking in general, the reality that the man is attempting to make fun of himself by selling us the same piece of crap he already sold us (but with boobs, cavemen and zombies pointlessly added) is just insulting…even more insulting than if he just did another film that was poorly made. I can only hope that lightning doesn’t strike twice and the masses see this obvious cash-in for what it is so we don’t get a third Birdemic film that is the same thing all over again but, this time, with...dinosaur aliens or some stupid shit to try and up the “What the Fuck?” quotient.
|A poster for Hitchcock's The Birds in the background, eh? I suppose you|
stole the poster, too, Nguyen?