Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Howard the Duck

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. These reviews are not meant to be statements of facts or endorsements, I am just sharing my opinions and my perspective when watching the film and is not meant to reflect how these films should be viewed. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 0-5. 0, of course, being unwatchable. 1, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being great and 5, being epic! And if you enjoy these reviews feel free to share them and follow the blog or follow me on Twitter (@RevRonster) for links to my reviews and the occasional live-Tweet session of the movie I'm watching! As much as we try to forget, this movie was really made.

Howard the Duck – 1 out of 5

It’s been years since I’ve seen this film (VHS was still the rage when I last watched this one) and, while bored after seeing my prized fighting tigers go round after round in my Hell Dome-O-Death, I decided I needed a good laugh and decided to watch Howard the Duck.

Look at him and try not to laugh at the idea that someone thought this would actually work.

She just got back from trying to nail her son and is now
trying to introduce rock and roll?
 Based on the Marvel comic of the same name, Howard the Duck tells the tale of Howard…he’s an anthropomorphic duck. Through an accident of science, he is transported from his duck world to planet Earth and now he wants to get home. He meets up with a lead singer in a band; Beverly Switzler (Lea Thompson), and together they meet up with some scientists; Phil Blumburtt (Tim Robbins) and Dr. Walter Jenning (Jeffrey Jones), that promise to get him home. After a failed attempt, Dr. Jenning becomes possessed by The Evil Overlord (loosely based on the character from Howard’s comic; Thog the Nether-Spawn, Overmaster of Sominus—yes, that’s the comic character’s real name). Now, Howard and the gang must try and stop the monster from bringing death to the world.

The fact that Tim Robbins actually had a career after this may be proof that a
merciful god exists in this world.

On a high note, Lea Thompson's band in the film has
Rufio in it.

This film is awful but it’s awful in a fun way (fawful)…like Sharknado awful (Sharknawful).  Of course, it's just plain horrible but horrible that you almost forgive it's horrible because it made you laugh harder than most comedies do. Yes, it’s terrible, the acting is atrocious, the story is lame-sauce, the special effects are bad and the jokes are corny but it’s how all these terrible elements come blending together that makes the film an accidental comedy that is hilarious…until you get disturbed by seeing duck boobs.

Actually...this is kinda tame thanks to the invention of the internet.

Originally intended to be an animated film, the crew went with
the bold choice of making a film with an robot duck that looks
like it is constantly catching its parents having sex.
 Granted, I may be bias because I love really crappy movies that fail at everything they are trying to be and turn out to be something that should be aired on old episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 or be done by the alumni of that show in their Cinematic Titanic and RiffTrax endeavors (seriously, Mike, Bill and Kevin…riff Howard the Duck...please?) but I have a special place in my heart for Howard the Duck…but not for the reasons that the director or George Lucas had intended (that’s right, Lucas produced it. Still think the prequels are awful?)

Wait...Dr. Wily was in this movie?

Howard the Duck was a perfect storm of crap that came together to make shitty movie magic! Everything from the terribly unfunny jokes, the awful dialogue, to the way the animatronics on Howard make the character appear, all these elements work in concert to make something that’s only redeeming value is laughing at its very existence.

If it's not getting his ass handed to him by trying to find Ferris, he's getting possessed
by an evil alien spirit.  I tell ya, Jeffrey Jones can't win...oh and then you have the
kiddie porn thing.

Coming back years later to watch Howard the Duck I can say this: The film still sucks…but it’s not like I expected it to get better as the years went by. Howard the Duck is more than just a really bad film that makes me laugh (although, I will admit that the stop-motion animation that was used in the film’s climax was really good) but it’s a lesson on appreciating how good we have it now with comic book movies. Complain all you want about how The Mandarin wasn’t sporting magic alien rings or some other complaint about how the Marvel movies are or going to be but at least they are not Howard the Duck. Remember, this film was the first feature film based on a Marvel comic book. Before this, all we got was awful TV adaptations and now we have The Avengers!

You can't help but wonder if they made this entire movie just so they can have
a duck play guitar.

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