Snitch – 2 out of 5
Snitches get riches…that’s how the saying goes, right?
Nope, I’m being informed that is exactly NOT how the saying goes.
|He's trying to smell what that man is cooking but all he's picking up is new |
Snitch tells the story of a young boy who makes the big, BIG mistake of accepting a package in the mail with drugs in it from a friend (you know it’s a big mistake because I put the word “big” in there twice and capitalized one of them!). Now the boy is in jail and facing the mandatory minimum sentence unless he can narc on a drug dealer he knows that will take the prison time away from him. Sadly, the boy isn’t a drug addict and just made a youthful mistake and it seems he’s destined for some midnight visitations from a 300 lbs. tattooed man named Betty while behind bars. That is, until, his father John Matthews (Dwayne “I’m not longer credited as Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson” Johnson) steps in and kindly asks if it is possible if he can out a drug dealer in order to get his son out of prison time. After making some calls to the local DA (Susan Sarandon) and asking for the assistance of one of his employees who's on his second of three strikes (Jon Bernthal), John gets himself in deep with a big time drug dealer that will lead him down a path that will show that getting to see his son again may no longer be possible…because they’ll kill him. I don’t know if I made that clear there.
|"Dad...that prison sex thing...it's not a myth. Oz was right!"|
This movie is sold on the “Inspired by True Events” line of publicity bullshit and, like anything that is sold on these lines, it’s inspiration is barely seen in the movie. Let me make it clear: Nothing that happens in this movie actually occurred. Rather, the filmmakers saw a news story about the changing of the mandatory minimum sentences in the country and encouraging druggies to squeal on each other and thought, “What if?” That being said, I can sum up this movie in one word: Boring.
|Susan Sarandon's serious face is scary.|
|"I thought he was dead so I fucked his wife...boy, was my|
face red when he returned and wasn't a zombie."
|"My goatee is ready to make an arrest..."|
|Where have I seen that pose before?|
|Texting while driving is dangerous, kids. But this accident wasn't caused by texting.|
Nope, this is what happens when you get involved with drug dealers.
It always leads to semi-truck flipping.
Most of the elements within Snitch are done well—extremely well (I’ll say it again, the acting in this movie is fantastic and The Rock really has come a long way from when he first started) but the overall story and slow moving plot did little to grab and hold my attention. It wasn’t a bad film, just not a film I found I could get into.