The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey – 5 out of 5
I saw the first Hobbit film of the trilogy at a midnight showing on an Ultrascreen in 3D and, maybe this is the huge nerd in me talking, but it was AWESOME! Sure the critics were less than impressed but I have to say, it was nice to return to Middle-Earth.
|"Can somebody help me? I can't get down."|
Do I really have to tell you what The Hobbit is about? I do? Haven’t you read the book? You haven’t? Why? And why am I only directing this review to those who haven’t read the book? If I would have just directed my questions towards those who have read the book and seen this movie this review could have been a lot easier. I could have just said this movie is awesome and moved on but here ya go…
|Trolls...the non-internet kind.|
Okay, so The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey takes place before The Lord of the Rings (that tidbit is for those who live under a rock and never heard of The Hobbit or LOTR) and how Bilbo Baggins (Martin Freeman as young Bilbo and Ian Holm returning as old Bilbo) got the One Ring and how he became the adventurous hobbit he is.
|"Hey...are those two wargs doing it?"|
|Apparently, the lead singer to Nickelback is also a dwarf.|
|Is that hair gel?|
|Come on, PETA, tell the armed dwarf that "fur is murder."|
|"Don't mind my sweatband, I just went jogging. Turns out you can just|
run into Mordor."
Also, this isn’t the animated film that came out in the 70s so I don’t have to deal with getting that “greatest adventure” song stuck in my head for days on end after watching it.
|Hipster dwarves shave their beards and do it ironically.|
|So...a dwarf's man cave is literally a cave.|
|Saruman looks like he needs a nap.|
When Jackson announced the film would be in two parts I said, “Okay but I would willingly sit through a 4—even 5—hour Hobbit film but I understand that our country’s attention span is measured in half a blink of an eye.” However, I was shocked when he announced that instead of two films, it would be a trilogy. My immediate thought was, “So, each film is going to be an hour and a half long in order to milk as much money out of us as you can, Jackson?” But since I love Middle-Earth and J. R. R. Tolkien I screamed, “TAKE MY MONEY!”
|"Uh oh...I shouldn't have had that second 2nd breakfast..."|
|Oh look, it's the eagles. The pretentious race who was too|
good to do any real help during the ring crisis.
|Rush Limbaugh even has a part in this one...ha ha, who am I kidding?|
This man is in much better shape than Rush...better looking too.
Pulling in more material ended up making The Hobbit go from a small but wonderfully fun tale of Bilbo’s hijinks as he goes from a lazy hobbit who cares only about a good book, a savory smoke and a couple of second breakfasts to a grandiose epic that belongs right next to the rest of Jackson’s Tolkien films. Rich backgrounds that were only mentioned in the back of The Return of the King play out in front of you and make the dwarves desire to get their home back more important.
|One thing I've learned in life is never break out your Gollum impression while |
making out with a woman. That'll end that make out session pretty quick.
The Hobbit is a slight shock to the few people who only know of Tolkien’s work from Peter Jackson’s epic Lord of the Rings trilogy since it’s not as dark or foreboding and is more light and humorous. The Hobbit was a kid’s book before anything else and the tone that the movie had was a very faithfully translated by Jackson and even enhanced with some dark elements that were thrown in thanks to some added history that I discussed in the last two paragraphs.
|"Dammit, I can't keep track of all you dwarves...I knew I should have brought leashes."|
|Radagast is racing for pink slips later.|
|"How'd they get the flaming bag inside my hobbit hole?"|
|He got a speaking part this time!|
|My next point is don't fuck with Dwalin.|
|"What's the matter, trolls? A little...hard? Okay, I'm a |
wizard and puns are not really my thing."
|Fun Note: When Thorin gets too much pipe weed in him he starts spouting off|
racist things about elves and the kingdoms of men.
Even more frighteningly realistic was the decision to film the movie at 48 frames per second rather than the standard 24. Originally a topic of some debate when this was announced, I must say the end result was breathtaking as the action that unfolded before you moved smoothly with no motion blur or shuttering. When I saw this in the theater at midnight the footage was so clear and flowing so well that it looked less like I was looking at a screen and more like I was looking through a window at the real world beyond.
|Sometimes albinos are the object of healthy fear...but only when they are also|
orcs. Every other time laughter is the only real reaction you should have.
Basically, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey was just want I wanted and more from the start of the Hobbit trilogy. The story is just as fun as the book, the visuals still make me want to visit New Zealand because it looks like the world’s most beautiful land, the special effects are astoundingly good and the film ends on a note that is satisfying enough to end on but gets the appetite roaring for the next film.