Explorers – 4 out of 5
This is a movie I watched quite bit when I was knee high to a grasshopper (horrible shrink ray accident) but as I grew older and my attention span targeted only breasts, the film worked its way out of my rotation and it has been many a year since I’ve watched it. Recently I was reminded of its existence and sought out a copy of it on DVD but when the idea of getting out of my chair and the possibility of putting on pants entered my head I almost gave up on the quest. But alas, I sought out and I discovered a copy for myself…many Bothans died so I could have it.
|"Don't bother me, I'm busy with my new COMP-PU-TER."|
|"What do you guys want to do today? Play some stickball|
or travel through mother fuckin' space?"
|State of the art animation that made the "Money for Nothing" video shit|
itself with envy.
|Are you my mommy?|
|And on that day, they learned the terrible truth that all those crazy people|
who talk about the moon landing being fake were actually right.
|First gremlins and now kids rocketing through the |
atmosphere...Dick Miller just can't catch a break.
|"Time to shake this like a...well...like what it is, I guess."|
Explorers appealed to my hopes of meeting life on other planets and hoping they would shed some light on the mysteries of the universe—like why some people in their forties still carry Velcro wallets. I saw myself in Ben, Wolfgang and Darren and wanted to have what they had; a sweet but odd looking ship and the chance to meet an alien named Wak who, if you’ve seen the movie, has spent too much time watching television (thank the Flying Spaghetti Monster that film wasn’t made now because Wak would have seen Honey Boo Boo and the cast of Jersey Shore and would have immediately declared war on our planet.)
|"Time now for the probe! Ha ha, just kidding, it's a mind probe...|
the anal one comes later."
Revisiting Explorers brought me back to my youth and reminded me why I watched this one so often when I was wearing short pants. Now that I’m older (and still wearing shorts—yeah, even in winter. I’m one of those guys) I can still see the appeal of the film and now appreciate on a different level as it brings the kid out in me…but thankfully not in a chest-bursting way like in Alien. More of a Kool-Aid man sort of way...only the wall is metaphorical...but not the Kool-Aid, that is 100% real and authentic. Actually, now I'm confused on what exactly the point is that I'm making. You guys remember Ecto Cooler Kool-Aid? I could really go for a glass of that right now for some reason.