Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Watch

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!



The Watch – 4 out of 5


Critics hated this one and it currently holds a 17% on Rotten Tomatoes and despite the fact that the trailer sold me on this one, I was thinking in the back of my mind, “What if this one sucks?”

And you know what? I really enjoyed it!

I had the same look of unbridled joy on my face after watching this movie...
very similar to the one Vaughn is sporting.

Focker vs. Aliens.
Ben Stiller stars as Evan, a manager at the Glenview, Ohio Costco and lover of his fair city. He’s all about community while trying to juggle trying to have a baby with his wife; Abby (Rosemarie DeWitt). Being the civic-minded person he is Evan starts a community watch after his night security guard is murdered and skinned. Few heed the call he placed for members to join his watch: Those who did were an overprotective dad who just wants to let loose and have fun; Bob (Vince Vaughn), a failed police officer who still lives with his mom; Franklin (Jonah Hill) and a mysterious immigrant from England with a poor grasp of American pop culture customs; Jamarcus (Richard Ayoade). Bob sees it as an opportunity to be a part of a club, Franklin sees it as a way to live the failed dream of being a cop and Jamarcus sees it as an opportunity to…get laid.

The longer you stare at this picture of Will Forte the faster he steals your soul.


 Obsessed with the death of his coworker and friend, Evan is out to try and find the killer, much to the displeasure of the local police officer Sgt. Bressman (Will Forte) but stumbles upon the realization that their town might have an alien infestation building. They soon realize that the aliens are taking human form and they must find out who is human and who is a beast from beyond the stars out to take over the planet. Is it Evan’s strange new neighbor who seems really interested in Evan’s physique (played by Billy Crudup without a glowing blue penis) or is it the high school boy who’s caught buying Magnum condoms and wants to put them to use on Bob’s daughter or is it the crazy old man with a shotgun that threatens The Watch when they venture too close to his home (played by R. Lee Ermey)?

Yep, that's your rifle, Ermey...now please don't grab your crotch and say, "This
is my gun."


Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg, this comedy is exactly what you would expect from theses guys—especially when aliens are involved. Then, when you have Akiva Schaffer (from Lonely Island Boys and SNL) directing it, it pretty much was a guarantee that I would go against the mainstream critics (yeah, I’m an alternative critic—FUCK, that makes me sound like a hipster movie critic…looks like it’s suicide again for me).

Hey, it's Lonely Island Boys making a cameo...in a circle jerk...wut?


This movie is filled with gross-out, vulgar and silly humor—and apparently a really healthy dose of Costco and Tide product placement.

Destroying Tide counts as product placement, right?


Unlike most gross-out and vulgar humor though, this movie was more akin to MY particular gross-out and vulgar humor taste. At no point did I find the movie to be offensive or nasty—in fact, it was the perfect blend of off-the-wall gross stuff and some guys just messing around having fun under the guise of protecting the neighborhood…that is until they find out aliens are around. Basically, the interaction of Stiller, Vaughn, Hill and Ayoade felt no different then when I’m messing around with my buddies…disappointingly, aliens are NEVER involved when I do stuff with my friends.

Hill was so funny in this one, it made me forget about The Sitter--fuck...that is
until I wrote this damn caption.



"Yep, I'm regretting that burrito..."
The interaction between these actors come off unbelievably natural to the point it felt like there was no script and the four men were just allowed to go off the cuff and their chemistry that pours off the screen is so abundant that I quickly lost myself in the film and it looked like a group of real-life friends. This wasn’t like the film Grown Ups where real-life friends come off as holding a secret hatred of each other in a barrage of phony laughs and smiles—no, Stiller, Vaughn, Ayoade and Hill all utilized their natural talents as funnymen to mesh well together and make a comedy that flows well as it transitions from a group of guys playing pool, eating pizza and throwing back a few cold ones to a collection of saviors for the Earth. Not to mention I’m a big fan of The IT Crowd and getting to see Ayoade hit the big screen in the States was a nerdy moment for me.

Not to shit on a possible movie career, Ayoade but let's seen another season of
The IT Crowd.


Boy, how much does my life suck since I never get to slow
dance with an alien.
I also enjoyed the design of the aliens. With all the little grey aliens with no noses and big black eyes filling up the movie screen since The Outer Limits first made the design popular, it’s hard to find an alien that stands out. Granted, the design seen in this film is not something brand spanking new and pushes the creative ideas of what an alien look likes but they offer up a great look that screams a potential joke about Uranus. Another cool note on the aliens is the fact that Doug Jones played the main alien. Who’s Doug Jones, you ask? He was freaking Abe in the Hellboy movies!

Yep...there's a joke about Uranus in there somewhere.

For everything else...there's Billy Crudup.
Despite the hate the critics threw on this film, I thought this movie was very funny—especially Evan’s neighbor played by Billy Crudup who may (or may not be) an alien. While I admit the story gets a little muddled as the alien presence is quick to take a backseat to some story elements that weren’t feathered out as they should have been but it doesn’t destroy the movie. Great dialogue and quick one-liners tossed out in rapid-fire succession by a group of already established comedic actors with a great premise makes for a fantastic, vulgar comedy that I will enjoy until the real aliens invade (and it’s coming soon—I read that on Wikipedia).

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