The Dark Knight Rises – 5 out of 5
|"Hold on a second...is that two dogs doing it?"|
|For a butler, Alfred sure talks a lot of back sass.|
|"WHEEEE-- I mean--ARGHHHH!!!"|
|Batman's crotch rocket is scientifically proven to be 100% less douchy|
than your typical crotch rocket.
While Batman Begins set the new standard, it was The Dark Knight released in 2008 that blew away everything we once knew about a Batman movie. Heath Ledger stole the film with his portrayal as The Joker to the point there was forgiveness to Christian Bale’s ridiculous Batman voice. Sadly, The Dark Knight Rises is the final film in Nolen’s Dark Knight Trilogy but it went out in an epic way. However, I would have really liked to see Nolen continue to make Batman films because I would have loved to see him tackle some of Batman’s more fantastic villains like Killer Croc or even Clayface.
|"Batman? Is that you? Hey, it's me, Bane! Come here, ya big lug and let me break you."|
|"Would you like a Kit-Kat, Batman...I'll give you a break!"|
That line was brought to you by Joel Schumacher.
|And, at one point, Own Harper from Torchwood shows up.|
While I can’t emphasize enough how depressing it is that this is the final Bale/Nolan Batman film, it couldn’t have went out on a bigger note. Drawing inspiration from Knightfall, The Dark Knight Returns and No Man’s Land; The Dark Knight Rises proved to be a wet dream come true for the Batman franchise. Despite the fact that the Bale Batman voice is still here.
|The mustache is more forgivable than the voice.|
I literally have no complaints on this film as it is action packed with a story that is both emotional (thanks Alfred, for making me cry. Damn you and your awesome performances Michael Caine!) and powerful as we see the Dark Knight pushed to his limits and his past coming back to haunt him.
|"Mr. Wayne, have I ever told you about my friend Andy Dufresne?"|
Like all the previous Nolan Batman films, the cast is second-to-none. Anne Hathaway dominates and demands attention as Selina Kyle aka Catwoman—and they never once refer to her as Catwoman and that was actually pretty awesome. I’m just speculating here but I think it has to do with the embarrassing Halle Berry movie. And speaking of Catwoman, did you know that Julie Newmar (one of the Catwomans from the Adam West series) hated the film. She said it was “too dark” and went against what they were trying to create in the series. Apparently no one pointed out to her that the Adam West show was a satire of Batman and not intended to be a serious notch in the World’s Greatest Detective’s utility belt.
|Newmar WISHES she was this good as Catwoman.|
Everyone remembers Heath’s ungodly amazing performance as The Joker in The Dark Knight and it seemed destined that his performance as a villain could not be trumped but when your opponent is Bane, how could one fail?
|Oh yeah...it could fail in a very obvious way...|
With the pain of remembering what Schumacher did to the brilliant tactician and monstrously destructive force that is Bane in Batman & Robin still fresh in Batman fans' minds everywhere (some wounds will never heal, Schumacher), Nolan decided to give the big “fuck you” to the man who nearly destroyed the Batman film legacy by giving one of Batman’s greatest comic villains the movie representation he deserved…albeit with a more “white” accent.
|He also wore some great coats.|
|Underneath the mask is the Predator's mouth.|
|Bane Batch Shot.|
Then, as if Nolan looked at his cast listing and saw Morgan Freeman, Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway, Michael Caine and Marion Cotillard (playing Bruce Wayne’s new possible love interest with a shady past; Miranda) and he could have easily stopped and said, “I have more star power in this movie than a fleet of blockbusters but I’m Christopher ‘Fucking’ Nolan and I can’t stop there. Someone bring me Joseph Gordon-Levitt!”
|"I'm here...let's sex this place up with my awesome acting abilities!"|
|"That's right, nerds...got into all three movies!"|
|Nolan putting Hathaway on the Batpod is his personal "you're welcome" to the fans.|
From the moment the film opens to the “nudge and wink” ending Nolan provided us, the film is an epic conclusion to a trilogy that went beyond the expectations. Like The Avengers, The Dark Knight Rises is a perfected example of a comic book property done right.