Men in Black 3 – 4 out of 5
I felt too things watching MIB3: Enjoyment and a sense of age because I remembered that the first film came out in 1997—two years before I graduated high school. I can’t believe that the first one came out 15 years ago. Land o’ Goshen!
|15 years and he still looks the same...me I got fatter and uglier.|
|Something tells me that Will Arnett walked on set and said,|
"Give me a cameo," in his grisly voice and they gave it
|In this case, the shit would be green.|
The third film sees once again K play the integral role as the last remaining Boglodite Boris the Animal escapes from the moon prison that was built just for him and is out to get his revenge on the man who put him there and shot off his arm. Who is that man he's out to put vengeance on? Why are you asking that question because I thought I made it obvious in the first sentence of this paragraph? Okay, I’ll just tell you...it was Agent K who imprisoned Boris and blasted his arm.
|I would totally commit awful crimes just to be imprisoned on the moon.|
Okay, so Boris wants his revenge and wants to ensure that his race (which is now extinct) finishes their invasion that was thwarted by K back in 1969. Meanwhile, J is experiencing
|Also Bill Hader has a spectacular cameo as Andy Warhol.|
|This guy was great in the movie...and I don't think that because|
he kinda looks like me either.
|So jumping from buildings can help a person time travel, eh?|
This kid has something he must try at home!
|Clement's beard deserved it's own credit.|
|Sing that song about robots!!!|
|That's either murder or love in his eyes.|
|How can you NOT be in love with this ma--JESUS LINE DANCING CHRIST is his face melting?|
However, this complaint is so minor it doesn’t take away from the film—especially when Smith gets back to 1969 and gets to work with a young Agent K, played by Josh Brolin. Having Brolin play a young Tommy Lee Jones is one of those examples of absolutely perfect casting that is so divinely done that it makes me wonder if some higher being—possibly a wizard or, at the very least, a magical leprechaun who hocks breakfast cereals—used his magic on the film. Not only is Brolin capable of capturing Jones’ mannerisms with an eerie perfection but he shows that he understood the character enough to reverse-engineer him and show his slightly less jaded and cynical period of his life.
|I bet Brolin could somehow perfectly play me...|
Then you have the character of Griffin…
Michael Stuhlbarg (from the Cohen Brother’s A Serious Man) stars as Griffin, the last-of-his-kind alien that helps J and K stop the Boglodite invasion with the help of the device called the ArkNet. Griffin exists in the fifth dimension and literally sees all the potential futures that the world holds. How do you play an alien that is basically Dr. Manhattan without the omnipotent elemental powers and the glowing blue penis? How do you play a bug trapped in a meatsuit of rotting human flesh? Just good casting and, as I mentioned with D’Onofrio in the first film, the Men in Black series knows the right man for the job.
|"I want a big blue penis!"|
Mirroring Brolin’s amazing performance is Stuhlbarg giving life to the alien Griffin. Stuhlbarg makes the role of playing an alien who can see multiple timelines all at the same time look easy and effortless. Stuhlbarg also makes the character incredibly loveable. How loveable? Well, I had to point out how loveable he was in this review, so it must be pretty loveable. Also, I never thought I would use the word loveable so many times in one review.
|If Segways looked half as cool as the movie's gyro bikes, I would buy one.|
When the film fades to black, we are thankfully given a rest from the usual “things are not what they seem” gag that ended the last two movies and what I got was just an all-around great movie to a fun franchise. I actually saw MIB3 in the theaters even though I walked in cautiously optimistic. I had my doubts when the film was announced it was being made because I didn’t think (especially after the mediocre second film) that they needed another movie but the trailer sold me enough to spend the small fortune it now costs to see a movie in the theaters (Why do I have to give collateral for just popcorn?) and I was very pleasantly surprised. The story is arguably the best in the trilogy and the special effects are the best yet. The acting, action and humor is top notch and all work to provide an extremely solid and awesome piece of entertainment…it also once again filled me with the desire to own a neuralyzer so I can erase the embarrassing moments of my horrible pick-up lines I give the ladies at the bar.