Tuesday, September 25, 2012

The Avengers

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

The Avengers – 5 out of 5

Avengers Assemble!
In 2008, Marvel Studios put into motion the most epic build up of comic book adaptations the world has ever seen with the release of Iron Man.  After the credits ran, nerds like myself were treated to a tease of what’s to come as Samuel L. Jackson makes a cameo as S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nick Fury and hints at the coming arrival of The Avengers.  Since then, The Hulk, Thor, a sequel for Iron Man and Captain America all got their releases and the anticipation of the Joss Whedon helmed film about Earth’s Mightiest Heroes built to levels that my mortal body was unable to handle.  I was overjoyed that it was coming but feared the build up would ultimately be a let down (comparable to the let down suffered by the few women in the world who’ve ever slept with me).  However, the day came and I hit the IMAX and sat down for something amazing.  How amazing is The Avengers?  I saw it in the theater 5 times and looked upon its release on Blu-Ray like it was a holiday.

Dat Iron Ass!

After the defeat he suffered at the hands of his brother, Thor, Loki found himself allied with an unseen Titan who offered him up an army, the Chitauri, for the purposes of invading Earth.  Loki sets his sights on the Cosmic Cube; the Tesseract--the same weapon coveted by the Red Skull--in order to bring his army descending on New York City.  Under the control of Loki, Dr. Selvig (Stellan Skarsgard) and Clint Barton a.k.a. Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) begin their work to use the Tesseract to open a gateway for the Chitauri to arrive.  Meanwhile, Director Nick Fury re-instates the now defunct Avengers Initiative, recruiting snarky Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) as Iron Man, the demi-God; Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the deadly and sexy spy; Natasha Romanoff a.k.a. Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson), the boiling caldron of rage (and my favorite comic character) Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) a.k.a. The Hulk and the Super Soldier lost from his time; Captain America (Chris Evans).  With egos and loyalties butting heads, can this ragtag team of deeply flawed heroes come together to save Earth from nearly assured destruction?

"That better not be motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking helicarrier!"

I’m a gigantic nerd and have been reading The Avengers since I started to read and I was absolutely blown away with the job Joss Whedon did with one of the greatest teams that have ever graced comics.  I’ve never been a huge Whedon fan (Whedon fans boys…I can hear you cocking your shotguns, relax, let me explain). Firefly was a good show but I never held it up to the level of obsession most do. I also never watched Buffy but that was more to do with the fact I can’t stand Sarah Michelle Gellar.  Also Whedon’s work in the comics was great but never did I feel it was at the level of worship that a lot of Whedon fanboys give it. However, his epic work on the script and at the helm of The Avengers has made me a Whedon fan boy. 

I tried to recreate this once in a field while holding a metal rod...all I remember is
convulsing on the ground and shitting my pants...and I barely remember that.

Since The Avengers arrived in theaters, I made a bold claim about the film and I stand by this claim…The Avengers is better than sex.  Shocking, I know.  Why is it, you ask?  Well, there’s the obvious fact that it’s more exciting and last longer than sex but at the end of the day, for me, getting to watch The Avengers is easier to do than get someone to have sex with me and, when all is said and done, The Avengers doesn’t tell me that it hates me for watching it…unlike the first girl I had sex with. Of course, I’m kidding--nothing is better than sex but making a claim like this just goes to illustrate how amazing the film was.

"This is my evil face!"

First off, Whedon respected all the characters involved and the source material.  No one Avenger is set above the rest and they are, throughout the entire film, a team.  No one character comes off as more important than the other. Sure, some may be scene stealers and others are movie stealers but, when you get down to it, the movie is very balanced--amazing considering all the talent crammed into it.

You've come a long way since National Lampoon's Senior Trip, Jeremy Renner.

Secondly, in a world where all comic adaptations are going darker, The Avengers proved that you can have a great, emotional and action packed comic book film without brooding.  This movie is light-hearted but never silly. It is very laugh out loud funny but it perfectly balances the humor with a tight story, character-driven plot and action that can make your eyeballs melt from the sheer magnitude of awesome it is pumping out.

"Did you guys see my helmet lying anywhere?"

Thirdly, the film gives you an epic villain.  Tom Hiddleston pulls out all stops as Loki and takes the character he established himself as in Thor and brings it to an all new level.  His performance is hypnotic and he legitimizes himself as a world-wide threat, especially when the portal opens and the Chitauri makes their way into our world.

Insert generic joke about the Hulk resembling a woman at a
shoe sale.

Fun Note:  My mother knows Ruffalo's father and wants
to date him.  End Fun Note.
Fourthly, each and every player on The Avengers brings their roles to the table in a big way…and then gives you more.  Downey continues to show that he was made to play Tony Stark, Evans makes me want to get up, pump my fist in the air and yell “USA!!!”, Hemsworth brings the boom as Thor and the emotion he shows as he must battle his beloved brother is poetry in motion, Johannson proves she’s more than just a nice rack as she kicks Chitauri ass, Renner shows Katniss and Legolas how it’s done with a bow and arrow and Ruffalo fills the shoes left by Ed Nortan as Banner in an amazing way. In fact, I’m not alone in thinking that Ruffalo steals the movie as the Hulk.  That's a lot for me to say because I LOVED Ed Norton as Banner in The Incredible Hulk.  And we can’t forget Clark Gregg as the loveable S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Phil Coulson.

Damn you, Agent Coulson for making tears come out of my face during this one.

Fifthly, the action is some of the best I’ve seen in any movie. The final forty-five minutes is an all out action fest with The Avengers versus Chitaui.  The action is not only face-punchingly awesome; Whedon delivers it in a smooth way, cutting effortlessly and majestically from hero to hero as they battle insurmountable odds. (Did I just use the word “majestically” to describe The Avengers? Fucking A right, I did!!!)

Banner traded in the purple pants for a purple shirt.  Upgrade!

And of course, there’s the tease for the build up to The Avengers 2…

I'm not going to lie...I lost my shit when I first saw this in the theaters.

The Avengers release into the theaters and its subsequent release on Blu-Ray are holidays for a dateless nerd like me.  We are living in a golden age of comic book adaptations.  Gone are the days of Batman & Robin and here are the days of The Dark Knight Rises and The Incredible Hulk.  As bold of a claim as I made about that The Avengers being better than sex, I have yet another bold claim to make…The Avengers is, in my opinion, the BEST comic book adaptation to date!  Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the rest of my days in the darkness watching this one until I die of starvation.


  1. Although I really wanted to, I didn’t get the chance to see The Avengers in the movie theater. From what I heard I really missed an event and that watching it with fellow comic book nerds was awesome. So last night, after waiting for what seemed to be forever, I finally got to see it when it came in the mail from Blockbuster @ Home. I definitely appreciated not having to fight the crowds at the kiosks. I’m going to make it a point to get to the theater when the future movies come out. As far as The Avengers is concerned I give it a10 out of 10. There are people out there that didn’t like the movie and that’s ok but I think that this is a movie that totally redeemed the potential of multiple character movies like this one.

    1. I wish I got paid every time I got a Blockbuster @ Home comment on my blog.


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