Sunday, June 17, 2012

Poseidon

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Poseidon - 2 out of 5

I really enjoy The Poseidon Adventure so, needless to say, when I saw, back in 2006, that they remade it, I avoided it because most remakes stink.  However, after revisiting The Poseidon Adventure back in March of this year for the sake of my blog, I decided to finally sit down and watch the remake.
We're going to need a bigger boat...no, actually that one is pretty big.  Never mind.
I'm sorry I did.
The story is not much different:  a big ship is capsized and a small group of trapped cruise goers decides to go against the group and try to find a way out rather than stay and wait for help to find them.  That's it, however, there are some major differences within the production from the original.  Everything that made the original a great disaster movie is ignored in this one.  Deeply constructed characters creating conflict and overcoming monumental odds to survive are replaced with one-dimensional characters who's names aren't even worth the time to remember and decent special effects.  It honestly seemed as if all the effort was put forth in putting together a great visual in the form of the boat flipping over by the wave rather than making the viewer want to care about the characters.
Captain Ron is on the ship?  What could possibly go wrong?

In the original film, we had rich characters like Gene Hackman as the Reverend Scott who's radical ideas about faith play a major role in his journey for survival or, how about, Mr. and Mrs. Rosen who were on a trip to meet their grandchild and the idea of getting to lay their eyes on him is the only thing that keeps them moving.  You don't get this in Poseidon.  Instead you get a cook, a mom and her son, a guy with no backstory but seems to be quite determined to get out, a rich man depressed over his lover leaving him, a douche and the girl he loves and Kurt Russell.  That's what you get.  None of them have much of a backstory to make you want to root for their survival except for a few cheap moments with the mom and her child but they act only as easy way outs in the script to get the audience behind the story.
Fergie was the on-ship entertainment?  If I was there, I would have capsized the boat myself.

Is it just me or does Richard Dreyfuss look like he would be
an awesome uncle.  The non-molesting kind of uncle, that is.
With such lifeless characters, it's no surprise that even great actors in this film like Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss aren't able to bring much to their respective roles.  Russell, who always delivers in his movies comes off looking bored and seems like he's only in it until the check clears and Dreyfuss looks like he's daydreaming the entire time.  But you can't blame them since, from the look of the film, the script was probably barely ten pages long.  In fact, it's the mere presence of these two actors along with the decent capsizing scene is the only reasons this one got a 2 out of 5 instead of a more deserving 1.  However, you get Josh Lucas in the movie and if there is one thing you can count on with him it's that he'll overact the hell out of his role and despite his character being a one-dimensional loner who, when the chips are down shows he's actually a good guy, Lucas overacts the shit out of it and pulls out every cliche one would expect from such a character--even the Kiefer Sutherland-style intense whisper that is suppose to show a character is raw and gritty. 
Andre Braugher takes over the role of Captain Bradford.  In the original, Leslie Nielsen
played the captain...surely you can't be serious.

Sometimes Hollywood is able to succeed and have a remake that is either on par with the original, a unique new vision of the original or, even rarer, better.  However, Poseidon isn't any of these.  Poseidon is one of those films you can reference when showcasing how shitty remakes can be.

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