Sunday, April 15, 2012

The Darkest Hour

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

The Darkest Hour - 1 out of 5

Okay, here's the movie...two guys--one being a condescending asshole and the other a cocky douche--travel to Moscow for some sort of website or app deal (I don't know because this plot detail is quickly covered and moved on from) and meet two ladies who have absolutely no character detail and calling them one-dimensional would be more dynamic than the actual product.  Well, these people are partying in a club with a bunch of other superficial types when all of a sudden the power goes out and the crowd goes outside to discover that big lights are descending from the sky.  All hell breaks loose as the lights start killing people and burning them to ashes.  The four main characters suddenly find themselves in a fight for survival as the entire world plunges into darkness...darkness caused by...lights?

Such is The Darkest Hour.

I can only assume the title has nothing to do with the actual story because the story doesn't take place over a single hour but rather over several days.  Nope, instead I believe the title refers to the hour you'll spend hating yourself in a deep depression because you just sat through The Darkest Hour.  

There is literally nothing working in this movie.  First off, the story of an alien race invading is pretty standard material but I guess the writer thought he was being clever by making the aliens balls of light.  There's actually more to the aliens that I won't spoil but even as we learn more about the aliens, it feels like they just took plot details from Independence Day and made some minor alterations.

LOOK OUT!!!  Lights...are...invading?
Really...lights?

However, the worst aspect of the film is the fact the writing is just lazy.  The film begins by trying to offer up some backstory to the film's main male performers but then it is suddenly done away with as the writer either was too excited to get to the film's supposed action or the concept of having characters have some development to them caused painful headaches.  I'm going with the headaches because the two females characters lack even an attempt at giving them substance as they are just thrown in to provide symmetry with the two dudes.

"Hi, I'm Girl Number 1 and this is Girl Number 2.  We like shoes and other
stereotypical girl things."

Okay, so the two ladies have no real character and I'm 90% sure they didn't even have names and were only identified by their hair color but why did they have to make the two male protagonists unlikeable?  Having unlikeable leading characters is all the rage in films and T.V. now.  This dynamic works well depending on the genre you are working with but there is some genres it doesn't work with at all.  If your genre any/or film depends on you wanting your audience to root for the survival of your main characters, making those characters completely unlikeable means you just failed at your film.  Both main male performers were cocky, arrogant, condescending dickheads that spent nearly the entire movie talking down to those around them and, because of this, I was cheering on the light aliens to burn them to cinders the entire time.

Seriously, if the aliens killed these two within the first 10 minutes,
it only would have improved the movie.

Finally, as if the filmmakers were actually trying to make a horrible film, the acting is just atrocious.  How bad, you ask?  Well, the leading character is played Emile Hirsch.  Now you're probably saying, "But Ron, Hirsch was amazing in Into the Wild."  How can one be amazing in a role that basically required him to go outdoors and seemingly pose for pictures and do no real acting?  So far, I've never seen Hirsch give even a decent performance and he seems to outdo his own bad acting in this one.

I'm not even going to go into the silly "microwave guns" they start sporting
in the third act.

The Darkest Hour is just plain bad.  The film lacks even a semblance of an interesting character, the writing smacks of laziness, the acting is phoned in (at best) and the movie just flies off the rails as it suddenly turns into a laughing stock when the story goes from alien invasion to a bad comic book story line in the third act.  To put it simply:  The Darkest Hour is an hour and a half of your life you will never get back.

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