Sunday, January 8, 2012

Mr. Popper's Penguins

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Mr. Popper's Penguins - 3 out of 5

There's not much to say about this one so I'll start with what it's about...

Remember when he used his ass to talk...ah, memories.
So, there's this hotshot realtor in New York named Mr. Popper (played by Jim Carrey).  He's divorce because he's married to his job and (predictably) his kids aren't the biggest fan of him because he puts his job first.  So, his kids wishes he couldn't tell a lie--wait, that's a different Jim Carrey movie.  Actually, this realtor's father (an explorer) recently passes away and leaves him a gift:  A penguin.  In an attempt to get rid of this flightless bird, he accidentally ends up getting several more penguins.  Popper starts to make some calls in order to get rid of the birds and when the one guy who can get the job done arrives (a penguin expert from the zoo played by Clark Gregg) Popper's kids arrive, fall in love with the penguins and suddenly discover they love their dad, too (granted, he originally buys their love with the birds but genuine feelings of connection as a family start to develop).  Now, Popper is stuck taking care of these arctic rompers, trying to get a sale that will cement his career and patch things over with his estrange family.  Also, there's tons of penguin poop jokes along the way.

Carla Gugino plays the ex-Mrs. Popper and let me say this about Gugino:  I would give my entire
life's savings for a single night with her.  That's right, my entire net-worth of $73.45.
Surprisingly, the CG penguins were pretty convincing.
Mr. Popper's Penguins is exactly what you would expect when you watch the trailer:  A completely unoffensive, mediocre family film that isn't entirely terrible but nothing special.  I'll be honest, I love penguins.  When I hit the zoo, I have to be dragged away kicking and screaming from the penguin exhibit so the film already had an audience with me.  Also, I'm a Jim Carrey fan, so the filmmakers would really have to work hard to get me to be disgusted with this one.  Although, I'm sure Michael Bay could have done it by putting Shia LaBeouf as Mr. Popper and making the penguins racist robots with giant robo-testes.

And Angela Lansbury is in this one.  The last time I saw her was when I quickly changed the channel
when a re-run of Murder She Wrote came on.


Apparently Agent Coulson left S.H.I.E.L.D. to work for the zoo.
Never is the film a laugh riot as most of the jokes are of the harmless variety--except there are TONS of penguin poop jokes, to such an extent it bordered on the invention of a new fetish.  The movie is, pure and simple, innocent.  It's got all the heart-warming messages you expect when the opening credits begin and nothing the film throws at you is truly original and unique.  If you have kids, there are far worse films you can sit through with the young ones but if you're like me and your chances of having a family have more impossible odds than winning the lottery, there really isn't much reason to watch this unless you like penguins...or you're one of those sickos who is into the penguin poop fetish that has just sprung up.

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