The Top Ten Worst Movies I Reviewed in 2011
So, 2011 is coming to a close and 2012 is creeping up behind us ready to either pants us or goose our bottoms. Either way, I hate to break it to you, there is no Mayan prophecy and the world's not coming to an end. The closest thing you'll get to an apocalypse in 2012 is actually watching the movie 2012. Believe it or not, that didn't make the list (and the only reason is I didn't have my blog when I watched it).
I watched a lot of television shows and movies on DVD over the course of 2011 and I reviewed all of them. I watched old films I never saw before and I watched classic films I haven't seen in years and compared how they stood up to the test of time. I watched freshly out on DVD picks and I watched obscure movies I only discovered because I was surfing the web or checking out the vast library of films Netflix has. Not everything I watched in 2011 was bad--in fact, I had a hard time finding 10 films to focus on because, to me, there are very degrees of bad.
Not everything I watched in 2011 was horrible, I must emphasize that. I watched films that made me consider running away from my DVD player and vomit because they were awful but I've watched bad movies that had the potential to be good but never got the potential off the ground (usually those are given a 2 out of 5). I watched some movies that are neither great or terrible and do a decent job of being middle of the road entertainment (3 out of 5). And, of course, you have the really great (4 out of 5) and the epically great (5 out of 5) movies I've watched. In fact, 2011 was a good year. I got to see some really amazing and clever movies like The Good, the Bad, the Weird and Rubber. I watched some truly creepy and unsettling works like Buried and I got to see some side-splitting comedies like Bridesmaids. And most importantly for a nerd like me, I got to see Star Wars on glorious high definition as it was released on Blu-Ray. I watched so many good movies and shows in 2011, a "Best of" would take too long to make and you'd be bored before I even hit the double digits.
I'm a big fan of bad movie for a lot of reasons. Bad movies are more entertaining to review and the jokes come easier to write for them but more often than not, a really great bad movie--one with a ridiculous story, horrible acting and all around bad filmmaking--can be a great source of entertainment. You find yourself laughing at something, I'm pretty sure, the director didn't want you to laugh at but when it comes down to it, you got some semblance of entertainment from it and, in the end, you win. However, I'm not focusing on the good bad movies, I'm talking about the bad bad movies (with the small exception of #10). The ones that are so terrible that it becomes physically painful to sit through the entire run of the movie.
Let's get started...
Honorable Mention: Most Disturbing Movie I've Seen in 2011...and possibly ever: A Serbian Film
|That is the same face I made after sitting |
through A Serbian Film.
#10: Birdemic: Shock and Terror
|That's some Shock and Terror right there!|
#9: I'm Still Here
|Worst Zach Galifianakis movie ever.|
|An outfit that exposes cleavage and your midriff |
apparently makes you a better fighter.
|Cage is asking, politely, "How did it get burned?"|
|Old Bobby Di Niro was in this one and, in his hand,|
is the remnants of his once respectable career.
#5: Super 8
|What you are seeing is the only second of footage that |
DOESN'T contain lens flare in Super 8.
#4: Apollo 18
|Did I mention that, apparently, they had high definition|
cameras back in 1974. Seriously, that picture is clear!
#3: Paranormal Activity 2 and 3
|This is about as scary as it gets in Paranormal Activity 2.|
|This will happen to you if you watch Skyline.|
The movie is so bad it literally sucks the life out of you.
And here we are folks...the worst film of 2011 and it should come as no surprise...
#1: Transformers: Dark of the Moon
|Even Shia's silence has a stutter.|
So, there you have it. My list of the worst films I viewed and REviewed during the course of 2011. I can't wait to see what horrible films are in-store for me in 2012. Happy New Year, everyone!