Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Red Riding Hood

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Red Riding Hood - 1 out of 5

I hate to say this, but after watching Red Riding Hood, I came to the conclusion that the animated film Hoodwinked made a far better adaptation of the little girl in the red cloak heading out to grandma's house and gets accosted by a wolf.

Drink every time she makes this face.
 Amanda Seyfried (Dead John) stars as the red adorned lady and the familiar old tale takes a...I guess, unique twist.  Instead of a boring old wolf, we get a werewolf!  That'll get the members of Team Jacob to come out!  Then, to continue to get those tweens, a love story is put up for Hood (oh, her name is Valerie).  So, the story is basically, a werewolf is terrorizing a small village and a kick-ass Holy Man comes to claim the head of the demonic beast--however, it seems the creature has some connection to Valerie but it's just plain unfair to make her deal with this when she's so in love with Peter.


That's the movie...and it really is as boring as it sounds.


Wait, Saul Tigh in in this film?  Why?
Even though Seyfried does a decent job as Valerie, be prepared for many, MANY shots of her staring dumbly at the goings on in the village.  But with the story as it is, I can't really blame her--especially when you add into the formula that her love interest Peter contains about as much personality and warmth as a frozen fishstick.  Oh, Gary Oldman is in it and we know he's awesome but even he can't save this one from the dragging story.  And even more heartbreaking for me is the fact that Michael Hogan from the immensely amazing re-imagining of Battlestar Galactica has a role in this.  Is that really how he wants to follow up his epic role of Saul Tigh?

You made the right choice, Hogan.  You had to escape the movie somehow.
I don't want to sound like I'm bashing the film, so here's the one thing the movie had going for it...they do a very good job of making the film feel like a Brothers Grimm fairytale with the sets and look of the world.  But that's about it.  Sure Seyfried is decent in her role but her character lacks any real depth that even someone like Kristen Stewart can make this flightless bird take to the skies.  Add in a story that doesn't really move, even when the major plot points hit and it's hard to really take any interest in this film.


"Hi, I'm Peter...that's everything interesting about me."
 And now, the lame one-liner to end the review with--a tool loved by the hack movie reviewer (and since I have a movie review blog, I'm very much hack)...My, what a lame movie you have, Red Riding Hood!  The better to bore you with, my dear.

"Hi, I'm the dad from Twilight.  I'm in another film with a werewolf...time to fire my agent.*"  


*  And time to celebrate as I did two "Hi, I'm..." jokes in a row!!!  



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