Sunday, July 24, 2011


***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Sharktopus - 2 out of 5

This Roger Corman produced, SyFy original movie about the U.S. Navy commissioning a research facility to make the ultimate killer is truly one of the best party movies I've seen—right up there with Birdemic: Shock and Terror and The Room. Sharktopus is one of those films that is great to just get together with a whole bunch of friends and laugh your collective backsides off. But with a title like Sharktopus, how could you NOT know that going into the movie.

Okay, so the movie is about a research facility that combines an octopus and a shark together to create not a hunter but a killer (at least that’s what Eric Roberts’ character says in the movie—that’s right, Eric Roberts is in this, so you know it’s going to be cheesy and awesome). But not only does this facility make a sharktopus, it creates comedy gold as the film is just terrible…and un-apologetically so.

The acting is atrocious and the lead “hero” of the film is a late 20’s, early 30’s douche bag who apparently is the “best in the business”—although it is never actually mentioned what business he’s best in. One could infer that he’s some kind of veteran, hired by the company to clean up their mistakes but he looks too young for that but it could also be assumed that he was hired out of college and just proved to be the best person the company ever had. However, this gets you to wondering, how good can this company be if they need a guy to hunt down their mistakes? But one thing is for certain with this guy—well, two things—Number 1) he can’t keep a shirt on but with the abs he sports, it’s no wonder (gotta balance out all the bikini babes somehow. Eric Roberts ain’t going to do it) and Number 2) the guy comes off as a total douche bag who, when the director yelled cut, was probably popping roofies into any of the bikini-clad extras who left their drinks unattended.

The true icing on the cake that is Sharktopus has to be the overwhelming amount of continuity errors. The creature (called S-11, because calling it a sharktopus on film would just be silly) and its size will change dramatically as the movie progresses—mostly getting bigger. In addition, the depths of the water will, like the sharktopus, get larger and deeper. Yes, there is a sequence where the shartopus walks (that’s right I said walks) into a rocky, waterfall area complete with small, almost large puddle-like sizes of water and, somehow, the sharktopus is able to completely submerge himself in these 2 feet deep (and that’s being generous with the guestimate) ponds—also, when you get to see the underwater shot of these dives, there is no shore in sight, no rocky outcroppings, so it appears to be the middle of the ocean. Way to go and reuse the shots from earlier in the film! That must have saved some cash!

And speaking of saving cash, they must have saved LOADS of bills when they commissioned whatever college dropout to do the CG effects. In fact, I would go as far as saying that it cost more money to get the girl who is actually billed in the credits as "bikini girl with bum" to be in this movie than it cost the production to pay the people who are responsible for bringing sharktopus to life. But then again, when you watch a SyFy original—especially one produced by Roger Corman and ESPECIALLY one called Sharktopus—do you really want good effects? Hell no! If you have good special effects in a shitty movie, you get Avatar.

So, if you feel like getting some pizzas, some cold beers, some buds and possibly some buddies as well (get it, that was a bad weed joke), try throwing in Sharktopus into that recipe as well and I think you’ll find a lot of laughs to be had.

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