Monday, May 9, 2011

Zombies of Mass Destruction

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Zombies of Mass Destruction
- 1 out of 5

Ever heard of the Horrorfest? Ever year, After Dark Films releases a set of horror films that they claim are "too scary" to release into theaters nation-wide, so they release them at horror film festivals they put on at various places across the country. The only problem is when they say they are "too scary" what they really mean to say is that they are "too shitty." Every year, After Dark Films succeed in creating some of the worst scary movies you'll ever see. If the films are not complete rip-offs of more successful horror films, they are filled with inane and intelligence-insulting premises that could make a weaker man weep. Zombies of Mass Destruction is a combination of both. A combination in the fact it is a generic zombie movie (stolen premise) but also has an inane story.

The film takes place in a small island town after the events of 9/11 and it suddenly finds itself infected with zombies after one washes up on the shore. The one-dimensional characters of the film find themselves in a fight for survival--if only they were well acted and written, I might have found myself caring for these people. Instead, the movie does the one thing that makes a zombie movie suck...an overemphasis on zombies eating people and no emphasis on characters. Sure there are some people surviving in the movie but when there are one-dimensional representations of people, you find yourself not really giving two shits about them.

Even more upsetting than this film falling into the typical zombie movie cliches is the fact it tries (and fails) to be funny and, with its lame humor, thinks it can create some witty insights to the paranoid state the good ole USA has become after 9/11. It does this through having some characters of Iranian decent being blamed for the zombie infestation by a redneck and a religious preacher blaming it on sinners and two homosexual characters. Yep, it was hard to not slap my palm into my face when I saw this crap being thrown onto the screen. Even more insulting is the fact that those involve in the making of this film were probably high-fiving each other and slapping asses as they thought they were making the funniest, thought-provoking work ever.

I'm a big fan of zombies and a part of me dies every time a bad zombie movie is made (needless to say, a lot of me dies every year). I think it's time we put a moratorium on all zombie fiction until people realize that just putting zombies in their movies doesn't automatically make it good.

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