Monday, April 18, 2011

Student Bodies

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Student Bodies - 1 out of 5

In the late 70's and early 80's, the teen slasher film was at its height. We got such greats as A Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and Halloween. It's not surprising that when these films were at their most popular that a movie studio would release a satirical film based on this genre. In 1981, long before such films as Scary Movie or the less comedic but very witty send up of the horror genre; Scream (this doesn't included the formulaic sequels this movie produced however), there was Paramount's Student Bodies.

The story is your typical teen slasher film and before Jamie Kennedy's character in Scream was stuttering the warnings about how teens that have sex will die in horror films, Student Bodies decides to make this the main focus of the film as the feature's killer (named The Breather--hence making fun of both the breathing sound from Jason's P.O.V. and the murder of his sister through the eyes of the young boy in a clown costume, Michael Myers) uses this motive to kill the teens.

The film tries and constantly fails at being witty as it parodies a genre that has become one giant cliche. In fact, this film tries so often and fails so much, it reminds me of Tom Cruise's constant efforts to make the public not realize he's gay by dating beautiful woman (yeah, that was a low blow and kinda hacky but he's a shitty actor). Occasionally, the movie pulls out a mildly amusing joke but the film's constant failures makes these moments easily forgettable.

In the end, Student Bodies is the open mic of horror film spoofs. It had the guts to get up on stage and try something but it didn't work. However, it's failure ultimately got others to take what they did and improve on it and make it work. Although the series progressively got worse as it tried to cram in too many fart and penis jokes as it tried to parody every freakin' horror film ever made, the Scary Movie franchise had some decent and entertaining moments and despite being written an absolutely terrible writer; Kevin Williamson and filmed by an extremely over-rated and mediocre horror film director; Wes Craven, gave us Scream. If, however, you are interested in a great horror film spoof that is absolutely brilliant from beginning to end and you don't have to suffer with David Arquette being in it, I highly suggest you check out Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon. The film is a mockumentary about a camera crew following a slasher as he's about to make his big return. So, if you're in the mood for a spoof, catch that one and leave Student Bodies writhing on the floor in agony, lest you share its fate if you watch it.

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