Saturday, April 23, 2011

Sorority House Massacre

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Sorority House Massacre - 1 out of 5

Ah, the sorority house. A staple for the horror film and porn industry. In the fictional world, these establishments are places where beautiful women go to explore their sexuality, barely wear any clothes and...well, die--if it's a slasher film. And that's what Sorority House Massacre kinda gives to you. The problem however is that the film doesn't really deliver on ANYTHING in the title. Okay, sure it gives us a sorority house but it's filled with girls who look too old to be in a sorority and should be working in an office building but mainly this film doesn't deliver on the whole massacre part--but I'll get to that later.

Despite the film being a giant Halloween rip-off, the movie tries to create a deep, psychological story (please read that as sarcasm). The film centers around a girl who survives her brother murdering the whole family. The years pass and she's buried the memories to the point they're forgotten. Entering college, the women gets involved with a sorority that also happens to be her childhood home (what are the odds?!?). So, she starts to have dreams and develops a seemingly psychic connection to the brother she doesn't remember as he escapes his mental facility and comes to finish the job.

Now, let's get back to the way the film fails to deliver on it's whole massacre promise. The brother kills all the sorority girls and their boyfriends in very, VERY, boring ways with little blood and absolutely no mayhem. Let's also enter into the evidence that the body count is very low for a horror film. The film tries to make you forget this fact like our film's star forgets that she survived her family being slaughtered and forgets that the sorority house she's now in use to be her home by giving you some pointless nudity in a *facepalm* dress up sequence. That's right, the film has a sequence where the sorority girls sit around and try on outfits. I wish this film was worse because then you could make fun of it but the movie just sits at the point where it's bad enough to not be watchable at all.

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