Friday, March 25, 2011

Ghoulies III: Ghoulies Go to College

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Ghoulies 3: Ghoulies Go to College - 2 out of 5

Ah, college. An institution of higher learning where young minds can find themselves and become better prepared for their future and a career of their choosing. It's also becomes a cliche setting for many, many movies.

If you've seen the other Ghoulies films, you might (or might not) agree with me that they are some cheesy, cheesy films (the first one especially--it looks like it was done by a person high on coke and possibly some sort of hallucinogenic). Well, the third installment seems like the filmmakers saw the previous two and stated, "Challenge Accepted," and decided to see how strange they can go. So, naturally, they put the story on a college campus. I guess this way it's just easier to justify the nudity.

Like all films that are centered around college, the focus on this film is slutty co-eds, lots of drinking and frats during prank week (because apparently that's the only time when interesting things happen to center a movie around). If you've really been to college, it's not just a 24-hour party as the movies show. In fact, if there was a movie depicting real college life, we would see the unwashed roommate, the LAN parties for the guys like me who got no action, girls in pajama pants in class and the frat dudes drinking beer in the shower.

So, in the third installment of this incredibly mediocre franchise, the ghoulies are summoned by the Dean of Students and he uses them to extract revenge on the two fraternities that make his life a living hell during Prank Week. What follows is cartoonish mayhem with absolutely no gore and then some naked ladies thrown in to make things interesting (or viewable, I don't know which). The film tries (unsuccessfully) to make the ghoulies funny by giving them voices and having them spout off as many lame one-liners as they can (something tells me there was a bet won somewhere by this) but when your actors can show about as much emotion as the puppets that are the little ghouls, it's not surprising that ANY part of this film is not absolutely atrocious.

I guess in the end, I just didn't care at all about this movie. The story centers around two fraternities trying to outdo each other in a prank war and, being a geek, I spent more time getting beat up by the frat-boy douche bag brahs that compose a fraternity so, through out the entire movie, I found myself wondering why I should care about these characters. Despite the barely passable acting of the actors, the characters show no redeeming qualities as human beings as they party, drink and treat women like playthings with tits. In fact, even the ghoulies treat the women in this film as eye candy so I found myself wondering what the difference was between those little monsters and the ghoulies (eh, see what I did there? I called the frat boys 'little monsters'). Aside from some tasty nudity (and by tasty, I mean enjoyable, not artsy), the film offers some laughs in the fact this movie just plain sucks. That fact alone kept me from flushing this turd completely and left it spinning in the bowl with a 2 out of 5 (if you've seen any of the Ghoulies movies, you'll understand why I went with a toilet bowl reference at the end.)

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