Thursday, March 17, 2011


***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

Breeders - 1 out of 5

After sitting down and watching this little gem from 1986, there is no doubt in my mind that the filmmakers responsible for this film made it just to get women to appear naked in it. In fact, nudity is the film's only redeeming factor...and even that isn't enough reason to watch this movie.

The premise of Breeders is about an alien that comes to Earth and needs clean, untouched women to breed with (hence the title, Breeders. Nothing artsy about this title). So, to fulfill his need, the alien starts with the raping of New York City virgins...and it does a lot of raping. So, with all these victims, of course it's going to draw attention and it is up to a NYC doctor and a cop to get to the bottom of it all.

First problem I had with this movie is the fact I don't buy for a second that there are as many virgins in New York as this movie shows. Not to mention all these virgins are 30+ years of age. My next problem with the movie is absolutely atrocious special effects and the lamest attempts at providing gore and horror. In fact, the film's failure at bringing convincing gore to the screen can be a point of humor occasionally but it pales in comparison to the humor you will find from the acting. In-between the shots of naked women (and there is a lot of them) the film tries to deliver its weak story and it does this entirely through dialogue delivered by one actress who can't speak convincingly and one actor who thinks this movie will make his career.

But that, in short, is the film Breeders. Absolutely horrible acting, lame gore, no real story or plot and naked women. If the internet didn't exist, I would probably recommend this movie to pre-teen boys so they can see some breasts but with internet porn at everyone's fingertips, this film has no real reason to exist because despite having status as a bad movie, the film isn't bad enough to be funny for anyone to watch.

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