Tuesday, October 5, 2010

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

***DISCLAIMER*** The following review is entirely my opinion. If you comment (which I encourage you to do) be respectful. If you don't agree with my opinion, that's fine. To each their own. I am just sharing my opinions and perspective. Finally, the reviews are given on a scale of 1-5. 1, of course, being terrible. 2, being not great. 3, being okay. 4, being good and 5, being epic!

My Bloody Valentine (1981) - 2 out of 5

One thing I've learned a long time ago was that horror film fanboys are the most forgiving fans than any other genre fanboys in the world. Quality storytelling, acting and effects are NOT something they care deeply for. If it was, crap films like Paranormal Activity (which has some of sorriest excuses for scares and some of the worst acting I have ever seen in a movie ever) would never be made. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some really great scary movies out there. The Exorcist, Psycho and Jaws are just a few that come to mind. But the reality is, more generic crap is put out in the horror/slasher genre than any other genre...and the fanboys suck it up.

My Bloody Valentine has cult status as the following for it is loyal despite the horrible return the film originally had when it was released. And this movie is a classic. However, like I always say, just because it is a classic, it doesn't mean it's good.

This movie is a perfect example of a film being true to the era it was released it. It came out in the heyday of the slasher movie in the early 80's. During this time, the slasher movie was big despite the fact they were ALL nearly exactly the same. The formula: A man is wronged and takes revenge on those who wronged him, a few years pass and, on the anniversary of the original revenge, a new mass killing in set into place as the killer once again demands satisfaction. Finally, we always find out it never was the original killer but someone else. So don't expect any surprises in the story department.

The film is very dated and the quality of the footage shows it. If you watch the extended cut, new footage is added but NOT remastered so the movie jumps from clean shots, to grainy, scratchy shots. This can become quite distracting.

The make-up effects don't hold up either but then again, not much from this movie does. Overall, the movie is forgettable (which makes me wonder why it holds cult status). The story is generic--but like I said earlier, most slasher movies are. The worst part are the characters and actors. The actors are passable at best but that can't be surprising because the characters are faceless and one-dimensional. I can't for the life of me remember ANY of their names and that isn't good because that takes away any sympathy I COULD have for the victims. This gets even worse when the identity of the killer is revealed. I found myself asking, "Who is that guy again? Was I suppose to know him?"

Unlike the iconic killers of Norman Bates, Jason, Michael Myers and Freddie Krueger, this movie's killer is almost laughable for one reason. The killer is dressed as a miner (because the film takes place in a mining community) and he comes complete with a gas mask through which he breathes VERY loudly. Because of this, I kept wondering how on Earth he was able to sneak up on anyone when you breathe louder than Darth Vader.

Even the kills in this movie are forgettable and weak. None of them are memorable or really that creative but these details are lost on horror film fanboys. As long as there is blood, chilling music and darkness, they are happy.

So, yes, this movie has cult status and I gave it a shot but that doesn't mean I enjoyed it. Unlike other cult films that I hated (like Texas Chainsaw Massacre) this movie did little to impact the genre. It's worth a view if you like horror/slasher movies but if you prefer more substance in your scary films just pass this one by because it is just not worth it.

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